HI AJ,
I am very happy things are looking up for you.
I know it's hard to feel alone, I have gone through that many times. You were right when you said to me to stop avoiding my mother, sooner or later it comes back to bite you. Thanks to you I made the decision to stop avoiding her and I decided the only way I could do it is by letting go... I really want to heal my heart and my soul and I have been working on it...
I made a really big step, I told my mom I forgave her for all that she did. I think that's a good step, don't you think? Thanks for your advice.
I also want to explain why I did not respond to you sooner. I didn't think my husband would appreciate me communicating with a man we didn't know, we talked about it and it's fine. I thought you deserved to know.
I am very proud of you for taking care of yourself. Congratulations!

Wow thanks for sharing all that Dennise. Yeah I think it's healthy for you to share your pent up feelings to your mom, if it gives you some relief. My mother doesn't understand "hello" at this point, let alone anyone's frustration in dealing with her, but after a lifetime of trying to communicate through her madness, at least I know I tried. She's 78 now and the doctors have said for a long time I can stop. I appreciate what you said about not responding to me, whatever the reason - that you had to check with your husband (solely because I am a guy) truly surprised me. I simply don't think that way, though I have seen creepy guys in help forums. I'm sure I didn't put out that vibe, but were you being cautious thinking I might be dangerous or something? Oh well, I appreciate your honesty. I'll try to be more patient and understanding in that respect from here on... sorry about being bitter for not getting any support; it does go with the territory but it's frustrating wherever it happens. Thanks for your patience too.