I have a story too, but for now I'll just introduce myself, my situation and say that I'm glad I found this site.

I'm a 53 yr old guy who has one sibling (older brother, never much help); father died 24 years ago. Coincidentally, around the age of 24 is when my mother's onset of schizophrenia took place - when I was born. It wasn't until my teens did it or my realization of her condition go full blown. My father managed to get her some help, but back then the treatments were crude. Whatever she was prescribed she never stayed on anyway, and after he passed away, as long as she could manage to feed herself, no number or severity of psychotic episodes or irresponsible behavior provided me with enough clout to finally become her conservator. Power of attorney came first, which she reluctantly but willingly gave me via a living trust, it was later when she became so physically weak and sick from lack of good nutrition and from smoking that she was finally assessed as schizophrenic, gravely ill and unable to care for herself in any way. That is when I was granted conservatorship, but it was still a hassle. I tried to maintain her living situation (alone in a gated community) with the help of a visiting caregiver, but it wasn't good enough. I finally had to sell her home and bring her into mine and have cared for her for 5 years now. I've managed to keep her fed, medicated, stopped her smoking, and save what was left of her horribly squandered finances. I was stuck at home with my own problems anyway, so it was a practical move. Had I a full life, wife, family, it would have been much more difficult, but I can't understand doing nothing. I did have a going business, a house, lived 20 miles from her and managed to visit her often. My brother has a family but he's stuck at home too, with an extra room as well. I mean, I lost my business and am declared mentally disabled and I've managed. I'm her representative payee too, so once all those ducks are in a row, it's a lot easier. She lives in my home now but I could move her out any time, and it's been encouraged, but until I find myself putting a gun to my head, I'll keep going on. It's not getting easier, but what was hard at first got easier. My life came to an end, but I was over anyway. The thing is, when she's gone, I'll have to live with these decisions. My brother always hid behind his having a family when it came to helping dad before he died, then with the business after he died, and then mom when she needed help, and I think he knows he's been lacking. Heck, he won't even watch our own mother for one day... I understand him less than I do our paranoid schizophrenic mother who is severely demented now. At best she has the mental capacity and selfishness of a 2 year old, and with the best meds she still has psychotic episodes - it's very difficult, but I'm doing the right thing, I think. I'm not spiritual nor do I believe in Karma, so I don't expect anything at all in return for what I've done, except that if by sharing with others in similar conditions, we can help each other.

I just wanted to add, after reading this thread again, that I am somehow relieved to see that all the irrational, illogical and destructive behaviors my schizophrenic mother portrayed over the decades is not an anomaly - that it's normal for her because it's common due to the illness. We, as the sons and daughters are all affected by mentally ill parents in the same ways, and have all had to struggle through their madness, in quiet dismay for the most part. We obviously feel so alone and helpless, yet here I see we're not - even if there aren't ready answers. For what it's worth I thank you fellow "children of the mentally ill" for speaking up and reaching out as I have.