Adult Children of Mentally ill Parents

Welcome to Adult Children of Mentally ill Parents Discussion Forum!!! Dedicated to the validatation and encouragement towards one another in tranquil and perilous times a mist the obscure insanity of a loved one.

Adult Children of Mentally ill Parents
Start a New Topic 
Author
Comment
View Entire Thread
Re: Re: Mother Who Lies

I am 24, my mother is 50...and I am going through the very same as you all. Of course not all details are identical, but extremely similar. There is a history of mental illness on my mothers side. My grandmother, and great grandmother both committed suicide around the age of 50. Obviously, my concerns grow with each day that passes because of this known history. My mother isnt an alcoholic, but has severe dependency issues. From prescription drugs, to street drugs, (methamphetamines, which further increase paranoia and psychosis issues, as well as physical "illnesses" you may be prone to.) Her lies mostly consit of the constant "everyone is out to get me" sort, that all are lying to me, and she has done no wrong. (In her mind, she hasnt) There IS no reality, I have recently come to truly realize this. I CANNOT deal with a mentally ill person on my own. I have tried to rationalize in the past, tried to understand "why"..."how" is this possible? How is it possible to have no TRUE reality somewhere deep? Thats mental illness, there is no rationale, and it isnt something most of us are equipped to deal with on a healthy level by ourselves.

I identified 100% with what Bob had posted. Everything Bob posted, has actually happened with my mother...some on a constant basis, some more random. My mother has alienated everyone in her life, besides myself and my step father (who she is now separated from) My step father also has a drug/alcohol addiction, and they only "feed" each others fire for drama and lies. The burden has become to large for me to take on by myself. I am guiltfully envious of other family members and friends who have made the choice to distance themselves permanantly from my Mother. I, on the other hand, cannot...she's my mom. Im all she has left. I fear she will harm herself, in the worst way, if I were to cut myself off from her. For my OWN sanity, I need to seek help on how to deal with a mentally ill parent, as well as look into programs, support groups, and ways to get her the help she desperately needs...but doesnt realize.

Its very difficult to help someone, who doesnt want or think they need help. There in lies my dilemma. How do you suggest that you need help, without further accelerating the destructive behavior or worsening the condition? My aunt and myself have tried to request some sort of in-patient therapy, but generally, unless the person is a direct threat to themselves or others, its near impossible.

I have just begun to fully realize the severity of my mothers mental illness, and it literally is a matter of "do or die". If anyone has any suggestions, where to start, who to contact...or if you just want to talk, please feel free to email me.

Re: Mother Who Lies

My mother is identical (minus the alchohol) She really is an expert about trumping herself up and finding fault in others.

She seems to be suffering a bit from paranoia about what other people think of her and then she gets angry at them for reasons she's just made up in her head.

But she always does it in a way that makes her look like the victim. She is incredibly manipulative.

I usually just change the subject, respectfully disagree, or just ignore it. (depends on her state of mind)

But inside, I want to scream. I am working really hard on really not caring about the crap she makes up and just trying and enjoy any good moment, any real lucid gem that I can tuck away.

Sickeningly hard! But I must say, after years of practicing this, it is working finally.

Re: Mother Who Lies

Hi guys.
This is my first time to this forum and I am reading about my mother! I want everyone to check out the book "The People of the Lie." It talks about people who constantly lie. My mother has lied to me all of my life and now lies to my kids. I have recently cut off all contact with her b/c she has fallen into the pit of her madness. She is bipolar, OCD, narcisstic, the list goes on. She refuses medication even though she admits she is bipolar. I started to make a list one day of the lies she has told me and I got to 52 and I hadn't gotten to my adult life yet! I am also bipolar and I think b/c of that I know that you cannot blame immoral behavior on a mental illness. Every evil deed that was ever done was blamed on a mental illness. Well, let me tell you, I have a mental illness which I inherited from my parents and I am a Christian and a loving wife and mother.
My mother constantly ridiculed my sister and I growing up, told us ridiculous scarring lies that only a child would believe but she, according to her, has been a wonderful mother and she doesn't understand why her children have a problem with her! I am evil for taking her grandkids away! She loves them so much (lie, lie, lie.)
So what I am trying to say...you do not have to let someone stay in your life just b/c they are family or even your mother. If this person is an evil person, makes you physically or emotionally sick, she does not deserve to be in your life. Your life is for you to live. My children see her exactly as she is and think she is crazy and not a good person.
I had to call the police on my mother today b/c she forced her way into my home and would not leave. My husband and I had to physically drag her out of our house. The police did pull her over after she left and told her she could not come back to my house anymore. People like this are never going to change and trying to reason with them is a complete waste of time. It's took me a lot of years of abuse to come to this conclusion, but it is very freeing.