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I watch this site pretty closely and try to catch all the up dates. We are all painfully aware of the physical side effects of this experience. By reading "between the lines" I sense a lot of emotional turmoil gong on in the posts I read here. Men are hard put to admit - even to themselves - to having emotional reactions, but it is more common in this experience than a lot of us want to admit to. When trying to set myself straight in bad times I have asked myself, "If I could, would I trade loss of eyesight, or loss of a limb to regain what I have lost from this cancer treatment? My answer would be "no" but even putting things in that prospective and knowing things could be worse, doesn't lessen the impact of loosing one's sexual abilities. I am back to "square one". A couple song lines from the past by someone I do not remember That goes, "You don't know what you got till its gone. Take paradise and put up a parking lot." and, "Can't get no satisfaction!" pretty well describe my feelings on the situation. I need to accept that I am stuck with a parking lot. My treatment was fairly drastic because of the serious biopsy results so I have very little left but a "wet noodle" and little of that. Orgasm is pretty much a wasted effort as two thirds of that pleasurable experience left with the prostate and it's accessories. Orgasm and the "after glow" that one experiences from that are now just pleasant and much missed memories and I find myself envious of those who are still able to experience that ability. I wouldn't change my treatment if I could go back as gambling with a cancer death is not something I would care to deal with. That isn't to say I have enjoyed the trip however! The natural craving we have for sexual action doesn't help much in this emotional healing. Don't know of any help for those of us in this situation. As has been said, take it day by day. Hang in there guys, we are all in this together. Jon.
