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Anne methinks you are in a difficult situation. I suspect the problem is either one of avoiding possible personal embarrassment or the more involved one of "why have I come to this". The former is relatively easy to deal with. In Australia we have RN's that specialise in contingency management and they have a variety of measures to promote continence. If the problem is the latter then perhaps counselling may be warranted. But I agree that your plan to discuss you concerns with the Doctor is a good starting point.
