Prostate Cancer Survivors

 

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How important is your partner

I am looking for some honest answers regarding the value of a spouse when a man has been chemically castrated. My husband has been living with prostate cancer for more than three years. During most of that time he has been under the influence of Lupron and Casodex. The result is predictable - no sex drive whatsoever. I've reached the point where the living situation in intolerable - unless he actually needs me there. In that case, I would work hard to eliminate my drive (there are some antidepressants that are pretty effective in that area although they cause weight gain and some other unpleasant side effects). I wonder if it would be easier for him if I weren't in the picture. Any comments?

Re: How important is your partner

You are not alone in your feelings which I have seen expressed many times over the years. Equally I have seen those men who are prepared to talk about their feelings (not many!!) say time and agin how much they appreciate their wives standing by them and how awful they feel about failing to perform as men - and the lack of interest - because ADT (Androgen Deprivation Therapy) not only results in an inability to have an erection but also effectively kills the libido - the desire.

Can I suggest you go along the the RESOURCES and page down - you will see a number of links to pages and lists aimed at helping women in your position. I am told they are excellent.

All the best

Terry in Australia

Re: How important is your partner

My husband was diagnosed 2 years ago with no other treatment options except ADT (Zoladex)The effects of having no desire were almost instant. We went from having a passionate love life to nothing. He doesn't miss it because he has no desire. I obviously do. Apart from the awful day that we were told the terrible news about his cancer, this is one of the hardest things we have had to face. I have grieved for the loss of how things used to be leaving me with a void, after all it is a human need.But ADT kills all desire. But we have worked through it by talking and having good friends and family. But through all this I have never ever wanted not to be there to support and care for him and always been as happy as possible and positive. Your husband needs you.

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