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I had similar diagnosis and was encouraged by every doctor and urologist I met to take some time (ranged from 2-4 months) to get second (and third) opinion, discuss things with my spouse, meet a few doctors, etc. And THEN decide what to do.
Should you go for surgergy its crucial that you carefully and thoughtfully evaluate the surgeons record. As noted here, robotic surgeons ideally have done over 300 procedures and do them regularly.
I ended up with the robotic prostatectomy in June 2009 (was diagnosed in January 2009). It was a very managable experience, and I am a good example of someone who comes out of the process in good shape (undetectable PSA, no incontinence, slowly regaining erections).
The fact that you are supporting your husband and working together on this is great and bodes well for happy life together, regardless of the course you chose.