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Aloha All,
Sorry to say ... the euphoria of the first 3 - 4 weeks on Fluoxetine 10 mg (SSRI) has gone. I am more up-tight, my shoulders/back feel like they are on fire ... doc gave me valium ... it works. Why the anxiety ... I do not know ... my hands will shake .... I know that I have the choice to be happy or sad ... why I choose sad ... I do not know ... just having trouble accepting what is wrong with me and where I am ... started eating bread again after bad experience with a rice crust pizza ...UGG!!... just not the same ... just too many restraints on what I can eat ... went on a sugar binge also ... not good... I must drink very little water during the day + 2 Tylneol PM at bed time to get any sleep ... I feel like I'm just a smidge away from a mental break down. Please, I'm not looking for sympathy here ... just trying to tell it like it is ... it is hard.
That fellow in his early 40's that found out he has PC ... so sorry ... hope you are young enough to get through this rough time in your life. Hope your support system is in place and working before you decide how you are going to treat the PC.
I could not have made it this far without my wife & friends.
Thank you for your support & prayers,
Joe
Joe I have been fighting this disease for 12 years, being almost fanatical on what I ate and drank. Over the years I realized that food intake and supplements were not, may be,all that important. Every day I read of more research showing that a miricale food or supplement has been proved to be ineffective in controlling PCa. For the last few years I do eat some of the "forbidden" foods in moderation.
My conclusion, for me, is that may be a craving for a steak or French Fries is my body saying that is what it needs. So why the hell not. We are being bombarded with the most magnificient adverts of food stuffs, mouth watering pictures etc. It is only natural to crave some of these forbidden items. I do not think one should feel guilty when straying from the narrow path of the correct eating habits
Thanks for the update on your mental health and I completely understand where you're coming from. I've battled depression and anxiety all my life and like you I don't choose to be that way I just am. When I look back on my life it's been pretty good but to me it's been a terrible struggle and I always felt on the edge of failure. For the people that don't have these problems it seems totally strange that a person can feel that way and be at the top of their game, but for me that's the way it's always been so hearing your story reminds me of the struggles I've faced all my life. With that said my health has been fairly good until now but the struggle I went through was internal with no apparent cause. But I assure you it was there and still is. I guess I shared this with you because of the old saying that misery loves company, so please don't feel alone in this.
I've used Valium and Xansa and it seems to me that Xanax relieves anxiety the best. The Doctor said that Valium is longer lasting but Xanax lowers my anxiety level the best, just thought I'd pass that on in case you care to try some Xanax. I use Alprazolam which is the generic form of Xanax. Below is the drugs.com definition of Xanax.
Xanax is a tranquilizer used in the short-term relief of symptoms of anxiety or the treatment of anxiety disorders. Anxiety disorder is marked by unrealistic worry or excessive fears and concerns. Anxiety associated with depression is also responsive to Xanax.
I guess that definition fits me because I realize that most of the fears I have are unrealistic but none the less they're with me all the time. If you're like me your wife is your strength and keeps you on track. My wife is a total joy and has been my rock for over 41 years. I guess I'll share another personal item with you, my wife was a chronic pain patient when I met her in 1965 and was the finest and sweetest lady I ever met. We married in 1966 and I've been taking care of her ever since, so both of us know how you're feeling.
I read Lenny's reply and agree with what he said, it seems that every miracle supplement is later found not to be very effective in studies. My feeling on it is this. You see the person that smokes and dies of lung cancer at 36 and then there's the person that smokes and dies at 96 of something else. What I'm trying to say is each person is different and what is harmful or helpful to one doesn't necessarily help or harm the other. So I think the magic bullet doesn't exist. So eat what you will but in moderation. Sure a better diet is beneficial but the strictest diet my not be.
Joe, I hope you will soon be able to enjoy life again on your beautiful Island. I'm down in the dumps myself at the moment, which is a combination of the economic recession in Britain, November blues (the weather is bad here) and anger at my botched Da Vinci.
I think the Stranger has a good point, Joe, when he says that just now may not be the time for you to be too strict with your diet. I know you have lots of post radiation problems with your bowels, but maybe only leave out those foods which you are sure cause you distress in that area.
In my early days at this "game" I tried very hard to stay on Michael Milken's diet advice, but honestly I felt so miserable, I gave it up. My policy now is to eat exactly what I like. I try to make sure it's the best quality, unadulterated, and not too large portions.
Everyone is different, I guess, but at 62 and with all that has happened - and with iron grey, English November skies - I gotta eat!!! And drink!!!
Take care, Joe, and thanks for feeling free to vent a bit with us here. We all root for you, mate.
Sandy & I showed up for our appt with BHS on Thursday. The lady told us that we looked like a sorry bunch that was way past our wits end, our tanks were less than half full, and unless we shed some of the load, we were in big trouble. Thus began the therapy session. I was not even close to a mental break down, so I was told. Sandy helps out with the Church books, news letter, & Sunday bulletins. I've been managing a Sunday School new wire & equipment installation and we both were trying to keep up with the coffee farm. We had hired some help to pick, but were swamped with the pulping and drying, over 100 lbs/day, so we were sorta stress out. Now why we pay someone to tell us that ... is just plain stupid.
The Soy ice cream was soooo good, but the bread was a very bad idea.
Thanks again for all your prayers and support.
Joe
