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Men who choose Active Surveillance – or Watchful Waiting or simply not to have immediate conventional treatment - often find themselves under pressure to “do something” and are often categorized as foolish or selfish or insulted in any number of ways for their choice. Some say this is why such men choose not to post on Lists like these – or even on Lists set up specifically for them. Another view is that men who choose this path are essentially ‘loners’ and for that reason do not want to participate in communal discussions in cyberspace or terrestrial support groups. Of course we each have to make individual decisions that suit our outlook on life, but I know from personal experience that participation in such groups is worthwhile – even if it is a bit difficult at times.
The reason I am posting this now is because I am sure that there are some men who are ‘lurking’ (as the cyberspace language has it – reading posts, gathering information, but standing back from asking for help or offering an opinion) here who might benefit from some help. The specific event that triggered off this post was my discovery of a story submitted to the website which had not been indexed on the site and which no one could see. It is a sad tale and I believe it should be read by anyone who thinks they can ‘go it alone’. I gave the details a day or two ago, but the story is here Private Gentleman I would hate to know that there was anyone else in this position who did not reach out and ask for the help that can and is provided by the generous people who post on the Internet or who organize and attend support groups, no matter what their personal choice of treatment or that of their partner was.
There are three aspects I would like to draw to any lurker’s attention – and to seek their input:
1. Dr Arnon Kronrad has started a new interactive site. Like others who have posted here, I had some doubts about this when it was started - particularly the commercial aspect, because initially it carried advertisements. However the speed with which they were removed and the way the site is developing assuaged most of my doubts. I have set up a section there on Active Surveillance There are a couple of interesting topics being discussed right now – but you are free to join and start one on your own.
2. I set up a Watchful Waitingwebsite some time back but have now acquired the name Active Surveillance and intend to straighten up the WW site and to post the fairly substantial amount of information I have on Active Surveillance on the new site. There is a fair bit of work involved in this but I’m happy to spend the time if there is it will help.
I chose not to have immediate conventional treatment. My story and more than 30 others can be accessed at Experiences – Active Surveillance. While I am not suggesting that anyone follows me on the path I have chosen, it may help to read my experience and those of others who have ‘been there, done that.’
Finally, I would ask anyone who wants any help along the way– or anyone who has any ideas on how men who choose this approach might be helped to put finger to keyboard and respond to this post or to mail me directly at yananow@optusnet.com.au
