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I think there will be many of us here who feel the same. From the moment of diagnosis my own life changed forever...and dare I say it?.....for the better, in so many unexpected ways.
I now see what is truly important in life. It's hard to believe I spent so many years worrying over trivial matters and neglecting to nurture fully everything good I had at my fingertips.
I have never appreciated life more than I do now...my wife, my children, my grandchildren, my dog...I could go on and on and 'Bore for Britain', lol, but I think I've said enough.
Good luck on your journey, Jim. You Are Not Alone anymore.
Jim, it is a life changing experience and I agree with George here, it can change it for the better in some ways. That will sound to you at the moment as totally impossible, but wait.
In my pre-diagnosis fantasies about what such a diagnosis would be like and how I would react, I can assure you that I saw myself as the headless chicken in a blind panic. But strangely it didn't turn out like that. Even now that my robotic can be said in many ways to have failed (i.e. I still have some prostate!), I feel very calm and take each day as it comes and as George said, enjoy even the smallest things. My life is full of horizons that I work towards on my way to the next one.
I think you get to see that if you live life as though the worst will happen, then effectively the worst HAS already happened and you live out each day a self fulfilled prophecy of doom.
We do have to remember also that what we have - or maybe what we no longer have for the luckier ones - is PROSTATE cancer.It's not lung, liver, brain or pancreatic cancer. It usually gives us a few more chances. My best friend (younger than me) was diagnosed last July with lung cancer and was gone just after Christmas - 6 months. But he lived each day of those 6 months as though it was the first day of his life. He would have gladly swapped cancers and I felt almost embarrassed to talk about mine with him.
You just have to keep going , Jim. Look for what you can enjoy and forget regrets and all the what might have beens. You have a long way to go yet. Do it.
DON'T FORGET TO LOOK INTO CYBERKNIFE. I WAS NOT ELIGIBLE WITH A GLEASON OF 8 AND DID IMRT BUT A MEMBER OF MY SUPPORT GROUP WENT TO FLORIDA RECENTLY TO HAVE CYBERKNIFE AND IS ENORMOUSLY PLEASED WITH THE RESULTS.
I quite understand fear and or depression when you fantasize about RP. You put it quite clear comparing it with a gall bladder operation, where problems are solved, whereas an RP primarily creates problems.
But why an RP? There are other treatment options and there is the option of no initial treatment and see what happens.
Waht is your age?
You say you are a Type A. Couldn't you try to change to become a Type B? This could involve help by a councellor.
Thanks for your post. I am 58 years old with a PSA of 17.1 and a Gleason 7. I don't feel that watchful waiting is a viable option for me. I will admit that this whole PCa thing is new to me and I have been learning over the past couple of months. I feel that RP is my best option as it is less traumatic than open surgery with a considerably quicker return to normal activities (I just want to get back to normal - whatever that is or will be after the surgery - as quickly as possible).
Because of my Type A personality and because of my wife's and grown son's concerns about me, the doctors that I have talked with and my family (as well as myself) all agree that it would be best to get the gland out so that it can be determined if the disease is confined to to the gland or not. If one has radiation (either external or with the radioactive seeds) you never really know about the extent of the disease. Once radiation has been done you cannot (for all practical purposes) go back and do surgery, but if you have the surgery and it is determined that more treatment is needed you can still have radiation.
Henk, I have sought the help of a therapist, something
I should have done many years ago (perhaps one of the very few good things that has come out of this). Between talking to him and taking the prescribed medication , I feel that I am doing better, but I don't believe that one can change their personality type. In my way of thinking it is like your eye color, hair color, etc. It is what it is.
Hey Jim,
I don't want to confuse you but do you have statistics on RP monotherapy success rates with a PSA of 17? You might want to check on this. Best wishes Pat (Alaska, USA)
