Adult Children of Mentally ill Parents

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Adult Children of Mentally ill Parents
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Don't know what to do anymore, help!


I am currently living at home and I live in a two bedroom house in the Uk.

My mother has mental health issues, my brother has depression (I have to look after him, he can look after himself sometimes) and my dad has diabetes. My dad is the only one that works. (I've just finished college and I'm hoping to get into uni) I have to share a room with my brother which I find very hard because we don't have our own space. I'm sick of living like this but there's nothing i can do :/

I find it very hard to get on with my parents its mainly my mum who I don't get on with. We have many disagreements, it comes to the point that I have to stay at my friends for a couple of days to get away from it all. My mum wears the trousers in my parents marriage and me and my brother, I feel anyway, get treated like second class citizens.

I've talked to my personal tutor about it and it helps, but I feel suffocated by it all. I feel let down by my parents as I feel they are never proud of me. I would like to get on with my family, but it never last when I do, so I feel like I don't have much faith in them anymore.

I am having also to support myself on my savings, which I am very thankful to have! I just don't know what to do anymore :(

Re: Don't know what to do anymore, help!

HI Emma-
I'm so sorry about what you're going through. I totally understand and can relate.

I've been seeing a therapist for the past 6 years, who is extremely good at her job! I started going because I have anxiety and through meeting with her, have come to realize that most of the problems I have are as a result of my family and the way they treated me and each other. I have actually had my only sibling out of my life for quite some time now, and I have never been more calm. My mother, on the other hand, well...I'm still struggling with her. Baby steps.

The hardest part of all this is that it is family. The part I've come to realize though, is that you can actually step away from them and do your own thing. What it all boils down to is: should you let them go or make them realize you can only love them from a distance.

My recommendation is to try and move out as soon as you can! This is YOUR life, and YOU are the only one who can control it! Break the cycle and start fresh. You are in charge of your future and what it holds. Stay as busy as possible doing your own thing. You are not responsible for anyone except yourself.