My sister is paranoid schizophrenic, with bipolar tendencies. . Based on the recent emails I’ve received from her, I think either her condition has worsened or she’s gone off her meds. Among other things, she’s asking for my help. I am praying for her, but I’d like to help in other ways too.

My sister has resumed sending me emails about the gang stalkers and “perps” who use electronic weapons against her. She finds reinforcement of her views in the websites she frequents where other ill people post their stories of being stalked and electronically harassed. She sometimes sends me their stories as “proof” that it’s real since “it’s happening to other people.” In the past, she’s told me that she just listens to her doctor talk about things that interest him, pretending to him that she no longer thinks she’s being continuously stalked and making pleasant conversation. I have no idea if he’s fooled by that, but he might be.

I live far away from her. The logical person to help her is her husband. While he means well, for a variety of reasons I don’t think he’s suited for the role of husband of a mentally ill person. My sister avoids him. I’m concerned if I talk to him about my concerns he may just end up tell my sister “see, even your sister thinks you are crazy” which means she won’t communicate with me either.

So I want to help her, but I don’t know what’s appropriate. I can’t move back to the vicinity where they live. Is it appropriate to try to call her doctor (assuming I can find out who he is)? Will he even talk to me, or does patient confidentiality trump that sort of conversation?

The best thing you can do is call her husband. There's little you can do. You'll have to learn to let go of the idea you can save her.