The thing that is so crazy-making about having a crazy parent is exactly that they are often capable of seeming sane and actually acting in very valiant ways. My mom's relentless work and intense will power pulled my family out of poverty. Her irrational anger, hateful criticism and violence made me want to die. Now she's a little old lady, often just as angry and vitriolic as ever... but in need of protection. It's exactly the inconsistency that makes her so painful to deal with.