Adult Children of Mentally ill Parents

Welcome to Adult Children of Mentally ill Parents Discussion Forum!!! Dedicated to the validatation and encouragement towards one another in tranquil and perilous times a mist the obscure insanity of a loved one.

Adult Children of Mentally ill Parents
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Re: Is anyone still using this site? I need some support

Hi Jill, and everyone,
I am so glad I found this site. I was wondering if any of you have in-person support groups? I live in New York City.

My mother has persecutory delusions, and delusions of reference. Basically she thinks our community is out to get her, based upon code words and "buzz words" that are being mentioned on tv, the radio, etc. She thinks people pick the 'buzz words' from TV and then use them around her to let her know that she is "out there." She thinks she is being mistreated and punished for being famous, and that other people somehow become negatively associated to her, because they make speak to her. It doesn't make sense, and I don't know how to go about getting her help.

Jill, I understand your pain. There is nothing worse than the feeling that your parent is sick, and you don't know how to help them. Not to mention that with mental illness, people think it is like a dirty secret that must have rubbed off on you too. No matter how much people think this country has progressed, and how people now understand that mental illness is a brain disorder, I am still angry when I see how people marginalize and dismiss the mentally ill.

Re: Is anyone still using this site? I need some support

I can really relate to your post--just checked out this forum today. Joining Facebook has made me realize how out of the "norm" I am....having grown up with two mentally ill parents, emotional survival was often my primary concern. I took forever to choose a career--married late and have never had children. My sister never married either. Seeing posts from old high school and college friends/acquaintances who live the "average" American life has made me feel down lately.

Re: Is anyone still using this site? I need some support

Lori,
I deal with the exact same thing. My mother was mentally ill, and it severely effected my sister and I and our concept of being female. Neither of us are married or have children, and I find emotionally intimacy terrifying given what I went though growing up and my mother's multiple personalities. Every day I wonder if I did something wrong and will live the rest of my life alone. In my opinion though, the "average" person is just as screwed up and unhappy. You're not alone here.

Re: Is anyone still using this site? I need some support

Thanks for your reply....I think "normal" can be elusive--although I think those of us with mentally ill parents are definitely on the far side of normalcy.

Re: Is anyone still using this site? I need some support

Hi everyone,

Not sure if anyone is still following this conversation, but I just happened upon it and wanted to offer my solidarity, and my story. My mom's been mentally ill since I was about six -- "bipolar with psychotic features" is her main diagnosis. Essentially, when unmedicated she cycles through mania and then becomes paranoid and delusional, totally out of control and extremely verbally abusive, until she's involuntarily hospitalized. I've been her ally and caretaker since I was little, which of course has had many repercussions for my own mental health and my life. I've always felt responsible for her well-being, even though logically, I know I'm not.

My brother cut ties with her eight years ago, and has not spoken to her since; that has been very painful. As kids, we reacted in equal and opposite ways to our mom's illness. He got really hostile and angry; I tried to save her and became a caretaker. Both patterns have their repercussions.

After seven bad years, (which included multiple hospitalizations, homelessness, and a fire) she's now been stable for about year. It's nice while it lasts, but I've become reattached emotionally, which means the next time she gets sick will be that much more painful. What I'm currently dealing with is enormous guilt about the fact that my girlfriend and I are moving in a few months, out of state. I haven't told my mom yet. I am excited about the move, but a voice in my head says, "How can you leave? You're all she has"...

Sincerely,
Natasha