Hi everyone. I am a 33 yo only child of a mentally ill mother. I am married and have two small children of my own. My mother is most likely bi-polar, but refuses to accept that there is anything wrong with her (but will not hesitate to tell you what's wrong with everyone else!). I've recently taken a step to protect myself from the drama by telling her via email that I need a month break from communicating with her. I made a point in the email to tell her that she could still see my kids (she is good with them). What followed was a phone call from my aunt 2000 miles away asking why I was taking my kids from my mom, and that she was so hysterical that she could hardly be understood. This is always the case. She looks for sympathy, attention wherever she can get it, and if you don't give it to her, she attacks you. I have been attacked for so much, she calls me a selfish and lazy b@##h, my husband a lazy a$$hole, and so on. As a child I was emotionally and physically abused. There were good parts, for when she is ok we were close. But it has gotten a lot worse in the last 5 or so years. I welcome any comments or suggestions. Thanks

Wow.. That sounds so much like my mom. I have lost count of the number of times I've heard second hand about the horrible insane stuff she's said about me to her sister and brothers. I'm slowly trying to fix the damage, mainly by showing up to family things and acting like myself - if they can't see she's making things up after having a real face-to-face talk with me, they are too stupid to bother with. It's sad that our moms need power over us so much that they alienate everyone else from us.

I've done what you are doing - cut her off for a month. It didn't work the way I thought it would. Apart from getting calls from my grandmother and aunt about how horrible I was, Mom also decided that calling my home and telling me how she wasn't going to talk to me or bother me every hour on the hour was ok to do. When I started screening my calls, she left messages screaming into the phone, or threatening to kill herself. We still stuck it out all month, but it didn't take long for her to break the rules again. She has a problem with boundaries. It sounds like your mom does, too. I'm an only child and my dad's dead, so I get it all.

I'm sorry you're dealing with this. I wish I knew how to help. I don't seem to be able to fix my own troubles, as my mom seems to enjoy breaking every rule and boundary I set for our family.