Adult Children of Mentally ill Parents

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Adult Children of Mentally ill Parents
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I'm Evicting My Mom Part I, sorry so long...

I've always known that there has been something not right with my mother. She is a very pretty woman, even for being almost 60. But she has always believed that she is ugly, that everyone is against her, and she has a terrible entitlement/victim mentality. She used to drink a lot when I was little, and was neglectful in many ways. But she would never admit to being at fault for anything.

I always remember my parents fighting about money, sex, etc and she would usually be the one to take it to the next level with violence, screams and the like. The neighbors frequently called the police. I have always been afraid of my mother. If I disagreed even slightly with anything she said or believed, she would rage. She's tried suicide, and even held a razor to my wrist once. She would always make me feel guilty if I did anything that would 'upset' her(like existing, pretty much). But she did tell me she loved me at least.

She has always believed that she was raped by my dad, even though she married him. That may be true, but the fact that she would tell me that over and over in an attempt to get me to hate him made me feel horrible; who wants that kind of stigma? She has never really been able to support herself for any length of time. She has lived off of my grandmother, great grandmother(my mom took care of her during her final years but was always disparaging and disrespectful to her, even allowing her young boyfriend to live in the house w/o asking my great-grandmother since it was her house). Then she got a rather large inheritance and blew it all in less than 3 years, and has absolutely nothing to show for it; bought a Jaguar, went gambling, donated a lot to the church, etc. Then she became penniless and had to move in with me.

After about a year I couldn't take it anymore, as she is constantly depressed, and would never interact with my husband, small son or I. When we sold our business I bought a really cheap condo(which she could have done if she would have had her money). She started taking care of my great uncle; he died in 2006 and left her enough money to live on for an additional year, paid off her credit cards and bought her a car. She waited until the year was up to start looking for a job, and of course didn't have any money so her cousin stepped in for a few months. My mom worked a temp job for about 4 months and was happy when she was laid off. She made a bit of an effort to find work again but couldn't. She refused to apply for welfare or Social Security Disability(oh, did I mention she has all kinds of health problems and ailments, and is sick all the time?).

Due to lack of work my family and I are in a terrible financial situation. I was charging her rent, but I was paying for the homeowner dues because I knew she could not afford both. I forfeited health insurance for my family so that I could do this. Now my mom's cousin has stopped helping her(a couple of months ago); when he stopped helping she kept referring to him as a 'cheap *******'.

My mother doesn't really get the correlation between steady work and having money and things, so she is envious of anyone who has money, and feels that she is entitled to what they have; if someone who is in her eyes 'rich' and doesn't give her money(or as she puts it, 'helps her', she berates and belittles them. She and my dad have been divorced for 25 years, and she still talks about how he 'screwed her' out of money when they got divorced(she took a lot of furniture and everything in the savings account, he got the house with no equity and all the bills).

My mother received a letter from the homeowners association detailing that I was late with the dues. That embarrassed her to no end, even though my husband and I are the ones that own the unit and the ones responsible. She flew off the handle and accused me of lying to her. I told her that I would need to sell the condo. Honestly, I could see that since she was not working or getting money from anywhere, I knew it would be a matter of time before she would stop paying rent.

She started calling my dad, telling him that he should give me money because I needed help. I am not like her; I do not ask anyone for money nor do I ever feel entitled, and I have always been self sufficient.

Her cousin offered to let her move in with him and his wife. The day before she was to move in with them she had what I have come to realize was a psychotic episode or break; she came to my house with delusions and grandiose thoughts that she was a prophet of God, and that I better get right with God when the world ends soon; she went to my dads house while my 7 year-old was there, and screamed at my dad, told him he was "dead", and that she would kill him or send him to prison, and told his girlfriend to get out of 'her' house. She had similar outbursts to her neighbors and cousin, and then she went missing for 4 days. See pt 2...