Hi! I am new here and I just wanted to tell you that we seem to have very similar circumstances. I have felt very alone for a long time on this issue. I also have a friend that I have helped through hundreds of bad relationships, but when I mention my issues with my mother she instantly invalidates me by telling me in other words that she thinks I need to just let it go. (She is a type of person who lets people walk all over her, and use her) I guess I shouldn't expect her to understand me. So, it is really hard when a lot of people do not understand what you are going through. I start wondering sometimes if perhaps I am the one who's nuts!(Sorry!) Any ways, I get anxiety just thinking about listening to a voice mail from my mother. I avoid my mother as much as possible, but I am always made to feel guilty. The worst part is that my family is in on it to! Invalidation is the worst thing anyone can do. In my family, it goes hand in hand with manipulation. I am glad to have met you, hope your days get better.