Hi. My mom is also bipolar, diagnosed in the last few years but refuses to take medication b/c she "likes the manic." She has become increasingly unstable in the last few years. She treated my sister, who just had her first baby at 39, cruelly at Thanksgiving, I let her know that she would not be seeing me and my children anymore. I have 3 kids in elementary school. Things have rapidly worsened. After I had an argument with her over the phone where I refused to discuss anything that had happened, she came over to my house, blocked my driveway, came in the house when I told her to leave and my husband and I had to physically drag her out of our house. Our kids were scared and I sent them upstairs to their rooms. My husband tried to reason with her outside while I called 911. She finally left and the police did pull her over not far from our home and told her she could not go back to our house.
My sister and I have spent our lives waiting for our mom to change and be "normal." She was physically and emotionally abusive to me all of my life but I always just accepted it and went on until my best friend was diagnosed with cancer five and a half years ago. I started having panic attacks and they would get worse when I knew I was going to see my mother. After lots of therapy and anxiety medications, etc., I was able to confront the issues with my mom and establish the necessary boundaries.
My kids also do not want to see my mother. They think she is crazy.
It is very hard to talk about these things with people who have healthy loving parents. They just do not understand. I truly believe (I am also bipolar. I am a Christian, happy wife and mom) that a mental illness does not justify immoral behavior. I was told this all my life. My dad is also bipolar and was a horrible husband and dad but it was the mental illness, not really him.
After reading "The People of the Lie," I believe my mother is truly evil. She tries to do emotional harm to the people she should be loving and protecting. The book described my mother perfectly. This book was what let me finally feel it was okay to cut my mother out of my life and my children's life permanently. As the Bible says, we are to turn from evil and the Jabez Prayer asks for God to keep me from evil, so that I may do no harm. God does not want or expect me to continue to be abused my mother. I finally feel that I can truly become the person I was meant to be without her in my life. I do not feel sad about this. It is a HUGE relief and I have never felt happier. It is hard to accept that your own mother is someone that should never be allowed to be in your life, but that is just what happens sometimes. I told Ian, my 11 year old, that just because someone is your family doesn't make them a nice person.
It is great to find this site and talk to other people who have experienced the same things I have.
I would love to hear back from you.
Stephanie

I'm 21 years old, and was brought up by a mentally ill mother - I was physically and emotionally abused.. all the posts sound EXACTLY like my mother's behaviour.. she accuses me of being abusive, starts fights with everyone in the family, ruins every holiday.. she used to call my friends parents and tell them I was a delinquent child.. she cannot hold a job or a relationship, cannot support herself, and constantly borrows money and uses other people. She is incredibly manipulative - when I was 11, my uncle called social services on her because of the abuse - she is so charming that the social worker left without asking me a single question.

When I was 15 I had finally had enough of the abuse and ran away to live with my grandparents.. we went to court so they could have custody of me. My mom thinks everyone else is crazy and out to abuse her.. she does not think anything is wrong with her and blames everyone else for mistakes she has made. She has not acknowledged that she was extremely abusive to me..

I keep a distance from her these days as I am living on my own, but she still causes my grandparents and I a lot of grief.. we cannot turn away from her because she will cry and act suicidal... I don't know what to do.. she needs help, I am so desperate to not have to deal with this anymore.. how do you get someone to get diagnosed with an illness when they can trick almost anyone with "manic" side and act COMPLETELY normal...

I would be so thankful for some advice.