Adult Children of Mentally ill Parents

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Adult Children of Mentally ill Parents
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I Never Knew of the Rights of Children With Mentally Ill Parents...

I am relieved, however---that there is such a network. I have grown up with a scizophrenic mother, a depressed father, and then a manic depressive, alchoholic borderline scizophrenic stepmother. Sometimes, I feel lost and completely alone. I have no friends, because I cannot even relate to my peers because of everything I have been through, and the need to hide my past. I have no other family, and have been taking care of my parents for years, although my mother left a long time ago....and my stepmother and father recently divorced. I am trying to recover now from it all-from the emotional, mental, psychological, physical, and other abuse I've suffered. I try to find meaning in my spiritual life, though I am not religious. I think people misunderstand mental illness....and assume too much about the children, that they will be mentally ill or screwed up. How does one heal....especially if they have no one to turn to....and live behind an unread story? Where does healing start?

Re: I Never Knew of the Rights of Children With Mentally Ill Parents...

- and when you see patterns of behavior in yourself that remind you of them, you worry that you are going crazy too, yes?

I hear you about the friends, too! I just wrote a post about that.

I am sorry that you were burdened with such a heavy load. It is not fair. It is very hard for those of us who have been through this to feel that we deserve good things for ourselves but it is now time for you to live for you. It is time to take care of yourself. Think about things you really enjoy and make sure you incorporate them into your life on a regular basis. They can be little things that just feel special - fresh flowers, allow yourself the luxury to spend the day curled up with a good book, if you can afford it (and can stand to be touched) get a massage or spa treatment. Personally, I get a great deal of healing from being in nature - taking walks in the woods, birdwatching, or planting herbs in a pot. If you are starting to explore your spirituality, consider taking a class on meditation or yoga. (Yoga has done wonders for me.) Also, look into counseling. You need the support of other people who can guide you through the process of healing.

You really haven't had a chance to get to know yourself so now's the time to find out what other strengths and talents you have besides survivor and caretaker. Be good to yourself.

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Replying to:

I am relieved, however---that there is such a network. I have grown up with a scizophrenic mother, a depressed father, and then a manic depressive, alchoholic borderline scizophrenic stepmother. Sometimes, I feel lost and completely alone. I have no friends, because I cannot even relate to my peers because of everything I have been through, and the need to hide my past. I have no other family, and have been taking care of my parents for years, although my mother left a long time ago....and my stepmother and father recently divorced. I am trying to recover now from it all-from the emotional, mental, psychological, physical, and other abuse I've suffered. I try to find meaning in my spiritual life, though I am not religious. I think people misunderstand mental illness....and assume too much about the children, that they will be mentally ill or screwed up. How does one heal....especially if they have no one to turn to....and live behind an unread story? Where does healing start?

Re: Re: I Never Knew of the Rights of Children With Mentally Ill Parents...

Thanks for taking the time to reply.

Yes, I have often thought I was going nuts because of the insanity around me. And I'm very introspective, know myself 'very' well...but I am not happy. I know I need to focus on healing myself to be happy. But I'm really isolated and I can't talk to people, can't handle 'normal' people....because I am either too intelluctual, philosophical, or simply put, direct on things. I have to be that way because my mind needs the truth always, and it was my own reasoned approach to recognize unmasked reality that saved me, I do believe.

Thanks for your suggestions. I, in fact, find a lot in reading, among other things...I made up for a lot by feeding my mind, even if I couldn't free it entirely from what it had to face. I fed it with reasons to it could reason its way out.

Take care and thanks again.

Re: I Never Knew of the Rights of Children With Mentally Ill Parents...

Healing starts little by little..step by step..
I have been working on healing my wounds since I was 20, now I am 31 and I am still working on it.
I would definitely recommend you seek professional help, hopefully you can find the right person to guide you and understand you.

Best of luck!