Hi Lori,
I read yor posting and relate to all of it. My Mother is bi-polar, schizophrenic, and paranoid with dillusions of persecution. Her personality is what I call "Russian Roulette". I never know what I am going to get and it can change 180 in 20 minutes.

I think it is important to separate your current circumstances -(job search, lack of finances) from your childhood experiences with your Mother. In other words, all persons experience unemployment and temporary "downs". This is temporary and transitional and worrying a great deal will not help the situation. I know that is easy for me to say!
Focus on doing what you are doing - interviewing - and limit your time around your Mom as much as you can.

Maybe going to a park or talking a walk can help. I find nature very soothing. I know how it feels to have a Mom who enjoys when your life is not going well. They are happy to have you down at their level so they can feel better. It is so unhealthy for a Mom to be that way! As opposed to being sympathetic or supportive of you.

I hope you can get out of the house when you need space from Mom and find/do anything that seems peaceful and light. Best of luck!

Thank you SO MUCH for posting your letter.

I have been really feeling alone for a long time in my dealings with my mom, who has been bipolar since I was about 12 years old.

I'm 37 now, with kids, a husband and plenty of things that I am truly happy about. But my mom seems to enjoy telling me what's wrong with my life. She manipulates even small requests for personal space into huge battles. She's turned me into a crying, angry, anxious mess more times than I can count, and my friends hang in there, knowing that I will be back to being myself sooner or later.

With my mom, the best way to handle things is to back away. Even though it usually catches me off guard, it has become a kind of dance, where I know at some point, she will stop and realize she's not getting the control or the reaction she wants. For me, it gets much worse right before reunions and in those times when I have to see her. I keep something in my head, "it won't last forever". That helps me get through at least an hour. Having my husband, who sees all of this nasty behavior, tell me that it isn't me, and that yes, she really did just (fill in the blank here) helps me tremendously. Support from other people helps so much.

I was really feeling alone today, though. I'm so glad I read your post.

Wow, I am so glad I found this site. My mother is also mentally ill and for years she tried to make me think it was me. She's gotten worse in recent years. She's 62, and has done everything from throwing a fit and breaking stuff on her front lawn in front of my son (who was 7 or 8 at the time) which greatly traumatized him, to ruining our Christmas one year by "surprising" us by bringing garbage bags full of stuff and saying she was leaving her husband. When I called him, he had no clue what she was up to, and she didn't end up leaving him, and I really don't think she ever intended to. I guess that whole thing was just for attention? I have no clue. It was horrible though. She picks at me and now my son, who is 10. She is sooo critical and ALWAYS looks for what is WRONG with everything and is never happy. I too, like one of the other posters on here am a perfectionist, I'm sure due to being raised by someone so critical. I just recently wrote her a long email setting boundaries with her. We go through this every so often, but then she worms her way back in. There is just no way for me to have a "normal" or even semi-normal relationship with her. When I confront her with her behaviors, she acts like the victim and won't take responsibility for her actions.