Hi,everyone. This is all new to me. I'm not sure where to start. Well, my mother has been bi-polar for some time, but now she's also suicidal. She's currently being treated in a hospital with some different psyche meds than what she's been taking at home. Her sister died exactly 2 weeks ago today (heart condition) and that was "the straw that broke the camel's back", so to speak. My grandma (her mother) has been in & out of the hospital throughout this past year. [Last Christmas my grandma had a stroke and was hospitalized for a few weeks. Then she went to live with my other aunt (my mom's other sister) for 6 months. She went back home to live by herself again (my grandpa passed away 17 years ago) and ended up having a heart attack (mild) about a month later. She was hospitalized again. While she was there she picked up an intestinal infection, which of course led to more health problems. So, as you can see, this is a lot of stress for my mother to deal with throughout this past year. Last year, my grandma had to have spinal surgery & was in a nursing home for 3 months of "rehab" after being in the hospital for a few weeks as well. You can imagine all the trips back & forth to hospitals and nursing homes. It's depressing & emotionally it just drains you.] Anyway, I'm just trying to give some insight for everyone. My grandma is once again in a nursing home because she never really recovered from her last hospital stay when she developed the infection. She's lost more than 50 pounds & is very weak. It's very sad.
My mom loves cats. She had 7 until October when one of them developed bone marrow cancer and had to be euthanized. He was only 5 years old and she had a difficult time with it, of course. (We're all animal lovers in my family. I work as a vet tech at an animal hospital). Then a month later she found a stray cat in her garage after her husband accidentally left the door open one night. The cat was very badly injured and emaciated. My brother rushed her to the Humane Society, which is less than 5 minutes away from their house. They cleaned up her wounds as best as they could & fed her for a few days to build her up so they could perform surgery to repair some wounds. Then, all of a sudden, a virus broke out & she was affected by it. She had to be euthanized. I didn't want to tell my mom. They were planning on adopting her. SOOOO much tragedy.It's no wonder she's had a nervous breakdown.

Now she's lost her will to live. And, of course, I want her to survive. I don't know what to do.She's been in therapy for at least 7 years now. Her husband (he's my step-dad,this is her 2nd marriage) can be a real *******. He's been verbally & emotionally abusive for many years. They've been married for 25 years. They have one child together (my younger brother)and he's totally supportive of my mom, just like I am. I also have an older brother, who shares the same biological parents as me. My older brother loves our mom,too. He's very busy,though. He doesn't know how to deal with all this. So, we don't talk as much as my younger brother & I do. He loathes this man who is his biological father,but has caused his mom so much misery. It's so complex. My mom's husband does have some good qualities. He helped raise my older brother and I financially because my biological father was a deadbeat dad. ( I shouldn't even go there because I've already taken up too much of your time...if you're actually still reading this!) My biological dad has many issues as well. He was physically & mentally abusive, an alcoholic, and eventually graduated to hard core street drugs. I saw him for the 1st time in over 20 years just last year. He's clean & sober now. Well, he's a senior now. He's 63. Now he wants to be a part of our lives. I've been trying to deal with that. But, right now I can't. I have to focus on my mom getting healthy. He's on psyche meds,too. I'm sure he's at least bi-polar. He's very manipulative.

To get back to my mom...She's been in this place for almost 2 weeks. It really sucks that she had to spend Christmas in there, and it looks like she'll be there for New Year's, too. She's been telling us & the doctor that the new meds are really working.But one of the nurses (the only one I actually befriended)took the time to talk straight with me yesterday. I had to call,since no visits were allowed yesterday. She told me that other staff members have told her my mom's been making comments about dying, being confused & depressed, etc...So, I guess she thinks she's fooling us. She's always been very intelligent. I'm surprised she thinks she can fool the doctor. Obviously she wants to leave ASAP. She keeps putting on a good show, but the truth is she's NOT getting better. She told me the doctor wanted to speak with me yesterday.He never called me. I spoke with him once when she was admitted.He told me he was afraid she would tell him what she thought he wanted to hear.I need to talk to him.I can't MAKE her want help. :(

Misty

My sympathy to you -you sound overwhelmed !!!
I want you to ask yourself a question ? what is your responibility to yourself ? and to your mother ? in other words just what do you think you can do for her that she won't or can't do for herself ? Did she always depend on you ? or drag you into her misery ?

I also have a list of behavior or mental roadblocks that manic depressives suffer
http://www.mdjunction.com/forums/bipolar-support-forums/tips/19406-the-ten-cognitive-distortions

check out the link and you can see her dilema
but don't be overwhelmed by her problems- hopefully she will find a way to be open to change

take care
Sherry