Hi!
My mom has BiPolar and can shut it off and on like a switch!!!!!!! She has also used alcohol to help with symptoms when not taking the medication! I feel for you and your family, as I know all too well the emotional roller coaster ride that can drain one very badly.
#1. He must pose a physical threat to self and or others before he can be madatorily committed (for either a 72 hr. hold or a week} And one can tell his boss he's in treatment or needs to use vacation time, so as not to loose his job.
#2. His medication problebly needs to be changed or ajusted, if his wife leaves him, then he will more than likely learn the hard way about being responsible for self. Unfortunately learning the hard way usually involves fights, and breaking the law, where they end up in the system, often going without meds, as while incarrerated the police usually don't know that certain individuals are mentally ill!
#3. My advice to you, is keep tabs on him, but make sure you set up boundaries so that he dosn't create KAOS at your home/work/school etc. Last but not least if he dose decide to impose on your family, hard as it might seem, get a restraing order on him and that will help protect the children.

Good Luck

Your Not Alone!!!!!!!!