Hi folks,

My father-in-law is in his early 60s and was an only child whose mother had a history of mental illness (not sure of the details) and died when he was 27, while his father had a history of dementia during his later years and died only recently.

From what I have seen of my father in law's behaviour, he has exhibited symptoms of narcissism throughout his life, but this was tempered somewhat from his children by his wife. I should note that he has never been diagnosed with NPD, but several of the books I have read on this subject, he would likely be a candidate.

He was widowed several years ago and has not handled his grief, nor helped his children in handling theirs, very well since then. I met his daughter and we got married last year and during and since that time he has had 2 romantic relationships with women, who shall I say, were not the best choices, and has continued what I see as a very destructive pattern of non-communication with his family, choosing only when and where he wishes to communicate, etc. Only recently he decided to become engaged to one of these women with no warning for his children, which has hurt them deeply.

His children, understandably are not very happy with this turn of events, since instead of losing 1 parent (their mother), it now appears that for all intents and purposes they have lost both parents.

The issue is not so much his dating and the engagement (to me), but the narcissism and the destructive pattern of non-communication which is leading to estrangement.

Any thoughts would be appreciated.

Hi!
Children who grow up in unhealthy enviroments typically experience low self esteem issues and depression. Geting your wife in counseling may help her deal with the emotional rejection of her father, and help her to learn to love self. There's not much one can do for the dad, unless he poses a danger to self and or others, then one can call 911 for help in geting him the help that he needs.

Good Luck!
Your not alone!