Hi all I am new to this web site. My mother was bipolar, schizophrenic and manic depressive. She committed suicide on sept. 26th 2006 and I'm having a hard time coming to terms with it and moving on I have always Found that by talking about it and putting it all out for the world to see is the way I deal with it best. I think that a large reason for this is that my mothers family feels that if you don't talk about it it's not really a problem and that caused a lot of her problems so I do the reverse.
So I'm going to share my mothers life with you all in hopes that this will help me move on a little bit. This will take a few sessions of writing so I hope you can understand and know that for me it's therapy.
Thank you,
Part 1
My mother was the youngest of four born as a late life baby to a 42 year old mother. She had three older brothers they are 10,8 and 3 years older than she is. Her father was mentally ill although no one really talked about that back then. She was sexually abused for the first time when she was just four years old by a uncle. From what I understand this abuse continued for a few years and some time during this the middle brother who would have been around 13 when he began abusing her then continued it till my mother was 13 years of age. There has been a lot of things to lead to the fact that her parents new about this and did nothing about it till she was old enough to get pregnant and then put a stop to it. The oldest brother abused her 3 or 4 times as well but the youngest did not bother her.
At sometime during the time of the abuse the middle brother who abused her the most also raped one of my mothers friends.
Just to give you some back ground to show what kind of life they had -
They moved a lot, They had 6 or 7 farms my mother told stories of having to lock up everything she owned in a attic and taking only a few clothes to move to another farm then they would rent out the other one and at least two times all of their things in the attic were destroyed or stolen. That shows some insight into her fathers frame of mind.
I was told my grandfather died of cancer. But the truth is he hurt his back very badly and was in a lot of pain. My mother was 14 at the time and my grandmother had a doctors appointment and told my mother to stay home with him and not to leave him. (we think she knew he was suicidal.) One of my mothers friends came over to ask her to go on a bike ride and her father said go go i'll be fine. He shot himself in the barn that afternoon and my mother found him. I can not begin to think of how hard that was for her.
To make it even worse a few people in the family say that her mother blamed her for it.
Well I think I will stop her for today,
again I thank you,
T