I'm feeling down...just stumbled upon this website...so hope someone can help clear things up for me...ok...here goes: I am a married 20 yr old and have just graduated from college so you'd think i'd be happy. But im not. I've had a very harsh and strange childhood and I believe my mother is mentally ill (though she hasn't been diagnosed). She's been in a mental ward once but didn't stay long enough to be diagnosed and she won't take her medications. So i'll never know what is wrong with her truly. Ever since I was little my mother was very cruel to me. She barely let me play with my friends next door, and when she did I was punished whether I was dissobedient or not. I was lectured and screamed at for hours, even days about things such as the way I looked, acted, someone else acted, looked, what my dad did, and imaginary things she made up in her mind. For example, she wanted me to start dieting when I was like 13 years old ( and i wasn't even fat!!!) I was an awkward child with moderate to severe acne and all she did was insult me for it--but she never took me to a doctor to get help for it so I had it for 4 more years w/out a single doctor visit, yet I was tormented by her for it almost every day. I could never do anything right. For example, I was a straight A student, but she told me that I shouldn't try to do that good in school because other children would make fun of me. She told me to make C's. If I said the wrong word, I could upset her, and then she would fight with my father. Then my father would get angry at me for it. He never cared if he wasn't involved in an argument (which could last up to a week). If she was being cruel to me he would go in another room or leave. If she started arguing with him then he would be angry with me too. It got so bad that I basically wasn't allowed out of my house from the time I was about 10 until I was 17. I decided to become a recluse because my mother made it too difficult and humiliating for me to have friends. She only physically abused me a few times, but the verbal abuse has been hard and heavy all of my life while my father has sit back, drank alcohol, and let it happen to me and my sister.(I have a younger sister who she has tormented in much the same way as i was) I'm still having problems with them because they live in another state and I work all the time. Out of times I have seen them, more than half of them have still been full of the verbal abuse and basic dynamic of my childhood. I can't deal with it, and am beginning to feel strong resentment toward both my parents for depriving me of my childhood, making future life hard for me, and for acting like everything is okay. I have developed some medical problems recently (my intestines are eat up with ulcers and I have developed an acne-like rash on my face lately) and am having a hard time (I barely go out because of insecurities) and yet my parents could care less about how im doing. It sounds rather morbid (sorry) but I'm beginning to wonder if they never wanted me or my sis in the first place. I just hate this and want it to stop--Im definitely not suicidal or anything, but am very depressed about my situation. I just want it to get better. thank you for your time.

I'm very sorry your parents treated you the way the did/do. My first question for you is...do you know Jesus Christ as your personal savoir? What happens on this earth is only temporary, God has given us a "Guide" book the Bible to go by. Your parents have NOT done what they should have by you; however, if you are God's child, you must let them know how you feel, you must also forgive them. Pray for their lives to be changed by the saving knowledge of Jesus Christ. The Bible says you must Honour your mother and father; you will be honouring them if you let them know how they've wronged you and then let them know their forgiven. Let it be their choice to be a part of your adult life, on your terms. Your First allegience is to GOD, Second is to your WIFE, Third your Children, Fourth your parents.
I'll be praying for you.

Thank you very much for your reply. I appreciate your prayers and helpfulness. I am doing much better than I was when I wrote that. I am in the process of becoming more positive again and trying to forgive my parents, because I do want them in my life. I know the Lord will help me through this
God bless you

That's nice advice..IF your parents are willing to repent of their actions and not continue hurting you. Of course, mistakes and relapses will happen, but if it's not in a person's heart to repent (this is the case with my mom, she can not see how she's done wrong, even after I have told her), then one must put God, spouse and children above parents and move on. Not that you can't forgive-forgiveness does not require the wrongful parent to make amends, it is something YOU do - but that doesn't mean that you should let your parents continue to trample on you.

Thanx Heidi. I know I cannot change them but I can move forward myself.