Adult Children of Mentally ill Parents

Welcome to Adult Children of Mentally ill Parents Discussion Forum!!! Dedicated to the validatation and encouragement towards one another in tranquil and perilous times a mist the obscure insanity of a loved one.

Adult Children of Mentally ill Parents
Start a New Topic 
Author
Comment
View Entire Thread
Re: My wife has Bipolar & OCD

I don't know of any books like that, but you might want to ask at your local library. If there aren't any on the market, it seems like it's high time somebody wrote one.

Re: Re: My wife has Bipolar & OCD

Please revove my listing it shows up on the net when i put my email address in google

Re: My wife has Bipolar & OCD

Jay,
Tonight is the first time I have been on this site. When I read your post, it just about broke my heart. I am bipolar, as is my mother and father. My mother is also OCD, narcisstic. I have three kids, Emma, 7, Colin, 8 and Ian, 11. I was diagnosed about three years ago. I had to explain to my kids when they could understand why mommy was so grumpy, tired, would yell at them. They understood a lot more than I thought they could. All my kids know that I have bipolar disorder. I have never taught them that it is something to be ashamed of. It's just like any other illness. I go to the doctor and I take my medicine and I do everything I can to be healthy. They know that it runs in our family, just like alcoholism (my dad and me) and that I don't drink beer but daddy does.
I also want to give you encouragement that with therapy and the right psychiatrist and just the sheer determination and willpower to stick with it, things can be so much better. It took a year for me to be diagnosed with bipolar disorder after my panic attacks started and then another year to get the meds right. I felt like I lived at my psychiatrist's office but now I am stable and happy and know how to take care of myself.
I know what it's like to grow up with a mom with a mental illness and it was just awful BUT she refused to get help, still refuses and also had a dad with mental illness plus a lot of other stuff. It sounds like you are a very caring and loving husband and dad and let me tell you, that is half the battle. I have the most wonderful husband in the world. I truly believe if I had been married to anyone else I would be divorced right now. He had to learn how to deal with my moods, not take it personal, just ignore the bad moods, not let me just go to bed and stay there, get me out of the house, just come in and take over with the kids. I don't know how he knew to do those things but he did. We've been married 16 years and it's better now than it has ever been.
I would recommend for you reading a book about Bipolar disorder and OCD yourself to better understand it and know how to help your wife as much as you can.
It helps to just explain to the kids that Mommy is sick right now but she's going to the doctor and she's going to get medicine and she'll be better soon. Kids understand about moods. They have good moods and bad moods so you can just in simple terms explain that mommy's sickness has to do with her moods and she can't help it if she's cranky and it's best just to leave her alone and go play or ask daddy for help. Kids would much rather have an explanation. They don't want to think that mommy just doesn't love them anymore or doesn't want to spend time with them anymore.
I hope this helps you. My heart truly goes out to you and your family. I will be saying a prayer for you guys tonight. I would love for you to tell your wife you heard from a mom who has been where she is. It's a nightmare, absolute nightmare, to be a mom and feel that you can't take care of your kids. I'm almost in tears remembering how that felt.
I will be thinking of any picture books that I think might help your kids. With three kids, I feel like I've read every picture book there is.
I hope you get this post and I would love to hear from you.
Stephanie