My mother is identical (minus the alchohol) She really is an expert about trumping herself up and finding fault in others.

She seems to be suffering a bit from paranoia about what other people think of her and then she gets angry at them for reasons she's just made up in her head.

But she always does it in a way that makes her look like the victim. She is incredibly manipulative.

I usually just change the subject, respectfully disagree, or just ignore it. (depends on her state of mind)

But inside, I want to scream. I am working really hard on really not caring about the crap she makes up and just trying and enjoy any good moment, any real lucid gem that I can tuck away.

Sickeningly hard! But I must say, after years of practicing this, it is working finally.

Hi guys.
This is my first time to this forum and I am reading about my mother! I want everyone to check out the book "The People of the Lie." It talks about people who constantly lie. My mother has lied to me all of my life and now lies to my kids. I have recently cut off all contact with her b/c she has fallen into the pit of her madness. She is bipolar, OCD, narcisstic, the list goes on. She refuses medication even though she admits she is bipolar. I started to make a list one day of the lies she has told me and I got to 52 and I hadn't gotten to my adult life yet! I am also bipolar and I think b/c of that I know that you cannot blame immoral behavior on a mental illness. Every evil deed that was ever done was blamed on a mental illness. Well, let me tell you, I have a mental illness which I inherited from my parents and I am a Christian and a loving wife and mother.
My mother constantly ridiculed my sister and I growing up, told us ridiculous scarring lies that only a child would believe but she, according to her, has been a wonderful mother and she doesn't understand why her children have a problem with her! I am evil for taking her grandkids away! She loves them so much (lie, lie, lie.)
So what I am trying to say...you do not have to let someone stay in your life just b/c they are family or even your mother. If this person is an evil person, makes you physically or emotionally sick, she does not deserve to be in your life. Your life is for you to live. My children see her exactly as she is and think she is crazy and not a good person.
I had to call the police on my mother today b/c she forced her way into my home and would not leave. My husband and I had to physically drag her out of our house. The police did pull her over after she left and told her she could not come back to my house anymore. People like this are never going to change and trying to reason with them is a complete waste of time. It's took me a lot of years of abuse to come to this conclusion, but it is very freeing.