This coming Sunday I 'predict' the following scenario will happen...

All five substitutes will be the first players to arrive and get changed (wearing numbers between 2-11 in the hope that they will be in the starting line-up because of that). They will take the balls out onto the pitch and warm up 'properly'.
The rest of our players will go in to get changed as the subs are running out (at about 10.10.p.m....after they have had their usual Arsenal/Chelsea/Tottenham discussion), except for two or three who turn up at 10.20.a.m. because they have had to change the baby's nappy first.
At 10.20.a.m., the players who started getting changed at 10.10.a.m. go out onto the pitch (which is half-a-mile away...we are at Enfield Playing Fields this Sunday), leaving the medical kit, sponge bag, kit bag (we can't leave that in there in case it gets nicked) and the box of water bottles behind because the players who turned up at 10.20.a.m. still need to use them.
Trevor then finds himself having to carry his own bag (incl. valuables), the water bottles, sponge bag and kit bag (for another player who is turning up late and getting changed on the touchline) out onto to the pitch himself because he can't wait any longer for players to get changed. He decides to leave the medical kit with the remaining players in the changing rooms as they need the black tape.
As Trevor has to run the line, he can't hang about as he has to get his instructions from the referee...in addition to giving him the substitutes names and sorting out our zonal marking positions...and persuading an outfield player to go in goal.
Unfortunately Gill (Colin's mum) is working and not there to do her 'usual job' of being lumbered with carrying out the (very heavy) box of water bottles.
At 10.25.a.m., Trevor finally reaches the pitch...having had to stop four or five times to get a breather as that stuff is so heavy and awkward to carry such a long way on your own !
The remaining two or three players get onto the pitch in time for the kick-off, but they have 'forgotten' to bring out the medical kit and the player who has turned up late to get changed on the side of the pitch needs some black tape.
Our five substitutes have suddenly 'disappeared' though...way behind one of the goals having a kickabout. Somebody shouts out for one of them to run back to the changing rooms and get the medical kit, but they 'don't hear him'.
Meanwhile, Mark (Howley) has been called in to work at the last minute (despite texting me the night before for the third match in a row to find out where we are playing). Russell and Ritchie are not coming along until 'later' (for 'some reason') and Gary Cokell is driving a bus instead of playing in goal. (Warmers ends up in goal on this occasion as either Terry, Speller or Johnny Mac has passed themselves fit to take his place in defence).
10 minutes into the First Half, whoever passed themselves fit out of those three pulls a muscle and has to come off, but Trev is running the line over the far side of the pitch and our five substitutes are not ready to come on and cannot be given instructions.
Our players on the pitch then all start bollocking Trev ('What the fucks going on / Sort it out, etc., etc.). Trev then hurls down his lino's flag in disgust and refuses to continue.
I therefore have to stop filming, pack the camera away and run the line myself so that Trevor can be the Team Manager that he is supposed to be.
None of our five substitutes 'know the rules', so they cannot run the line.
Early in the Second Half, Tarby, Ritchie & Rebairo all turn up, but there is no point in them taking over as lino and me resuming the filming of the match is there !?

If this situation happens this Sunday, that will be it for me as far as filming Edmonton Rovers matches go, and I will be permanent Club Lino for the rest of the season.
The choice is yours !

I bet you it doesn't!

It shouldn't happen...because hopefully everyone will heed my warnings.

Can you imagine an AGM without a Goal Of The Season competition or a Snooker Night where we are just watching the same old 'Out-Takes' again and again because there is nothing new to watch ?

Although me legs feel like i've had to give tarby a piggy back ride round pitch twice ! I will be there sunday ( if selected ).....but not tomorrow night

Lol
You are a crazy man

DITTO

Haven't checked the I.P. address yet, but Suicidle (sic) Sid is obviously Steve or Gary Cokell because of the spelling error. (It should be 'suicidal').

Gary sent me a text message on Sunday morning saying 'Be there in 10 (minutes). Got a saw (sic) leg though !'
...and I also have a Forum message printed off that Steve once put on here (anonymously) which he entitled 'Fashion Fopars' (instead of 'Faux Pas').

I expect Murf and Johnny Mac will be having a chuckle !?

Nice to see Roald Dahl taking up the reports-soooooooo much better than that Lol bloke-a true story teller. Humour and irony in a factual context ....... brilliant. That Lol could learn alot from him!!!!!!

not me guvnaw.........
although the fashion fopahah was me!!
you should go on countdowm dickionhairy boy!!

Geek that I am, I have checked the I.P. addresses now !

Suicidle Sid is Scott. I would have thought he would have known how to spell ! Isn't his wife a schoolteacher ?

Mowgli is Johnny Mac, but I have no idea who The Bogey Man is (saying we shouldn't wear green).
It's a similar I.P. address to Stuart's work one, so it could be Mark Dyer maybe ?

"isn't his wife a schoolteacher?" So what! That doesn't make her responsible for his spelling does it. What do you think they do in the evening? Watch that crappy programme with kids spelling words follwed by a head to head spell-off?

Oops !
I don't recognise that I.P. address.
Looks like I've put my foot in it again !