Thought is was pretty w@nk that nobody turn up to training last night, I was left playing with myself in the corner. Which I can assure you the police were none to happy about, Lol I'll be asking the club to fund my bail money.

Many Thanks

What's the cost of your bail, two pies? I'm sure Lol won't want the police involved otherwise it will be like an episode of The Bill where they nick some scrote (ie Simon) and this then leads to Mr Big (ie Lol) and his video stash......

No facking detective required to work out that DC carver is junior, anyway I was just wondering how you knew about lols secret video stash - 'Look whos porking', 'looking whos porking poo','Sh1t wars','Shaving ryans privates','the bummer boy','Lord of my ring' etc.......

Just in case Simon's message was not a wind-up and he DID turn up to training last night, I did actually text everybody (including Simon) to let them know I had decided to call training off.
This was because both myself and Trevor were really busy with work, I had seen the weather forecast (which was correct again !), and hardly anybody had left messages on here or by text to say they wanted to go training.

I think it proved to be the right decision because it was absolutely p!ssing down and nobody would have turned up in that, even though Simon, Conor and Peter White all said they would have gone (initially) when they have not been attending recently.

I then had a phone call from Kev Dedman saying he would have gone training as well...for the first time in about two months !!!
He also said he didn't turn up against Brimsdown on Sunday because he assumed we didn't have a game because it was Easter Day ! (He is not on the Internet at the moment, so he thought somebody would phone him).
Yes, it's another case of 'Aliahmeditus' I'm afraid !
He is available for the Everest match on the 10th though (and so is Stocky as far as I know).

Simon, I was talking about his football videos - not the ones that he lends to you when you are going back to Stoke.

Lol

Have you rented out 'the night for giving head' ???

I have been told it is a great spin off of 'The night of the living dead' but with less gore and more action, if you know what i mean.

I could also recommend 'Gag Factor 7' this is a must for your collection

Simon, I have no idea what you are talking about of course.

By the way, one of our ex-players from the early-90's has actually appeared in 'proper' porn movies (so he told me at the time) and as far as I know he still does !

I'll leave it up to our players to guess who it is !

surely it has to be nugget

Lol do you have a copy of 'Weapons of ass destruction'
if so, conor said he would like to rent it, it has a lot of ATM in it.

Cheers

Gary Southam - would explain why he couldn't see the ball! Having said that he would have simply told us anyway. 'Last night in the back of my limo I had all these birds' yeah,yeah course you did Gary.....

Nugget - Wrong.
Gary Southam - Wrong.

The Gary Southam 'Limo' quote. Classic.

Tim Beeden

who ever has my copies of, 'Bender like beckham' and 'Pretty in the pink' could you please bring them to the next game.

Cheers

What about 'Taking it up the potter' a history of Stoke FC?

Junior can you please return the copy of 'brown love' you have it over a month now.

Cheers

Does that movie feature one of the Dyer brothers.Maybe it's Stafford whose the porn star !!! 'Stafford's Staff vol 1'

Brown love - a Stoke FC tribute to former forward Ade Akinbiyi, running time seven seconds. Sorry Simon, I do not have any of your Stoke memorabilia. I suggest you try your family and friends, they may have it.

Tarby - you still have my copy of 'Towering in her ferno' please retuen.

and you've still got my 'Star *****s' and 'The ******* of Eastwick'.

I can't believe its blocked those words.Sort it out Lol its like we are living under Big Brother !!!!!

that reminds me, tarby you still have 'big mutha' please return asap.

Also on a more serious note i did create a post that explained how to get round the bravenet profanity checker, but, using his 'administrator password' lol must have removed it, lol can you please explain yourself and whilst you are at it see if you can find 'big D1ck in little china' thanks

Lol has just emailed me a list of the 'stash' that he has available, any takers:

Forest Dump
Beverley Hills ****
Rambone
Pulp Friction
Top Buns
Jurassic Pork
Porn on the 4th of July
Romancing the Bone
Saturday Night Beaver

Here's some more I found


Dude,Where's my D1ldo ?
Big Trouble in Little Vag1na
All Anal on the Western Front
Beverly Hills 9021-Ho !
Sperms of Endearment
Edward Pen1shands
Beverly Hills Cox
Booberella
Buffy the Vampire Layer
The Bare ***** Project
Raiders of the Lost Ar5e
San Fernando Jones and the Temple of Poon
Single White She Male
THe Sexorc1st

Another few beauties:

Fist Club
When Harry Ate Sally
Equilibriquim
Boneheart
Open ******
Lord of my Ring
Dead Porners Society
Charlies Anals
Moonwanker
******* the Dead
Dick and Dicker

Found amongst a certain person's kiddie luring videos - 'Alternative Disney Classics'

The Aristotwats
The Cocks and the Mound
Hairy Throbbings
Redknobs and Bigdicks
Alice in W@ankerland

Tapby came up with a classic yesterday, although the police have been informed.

'Planet of the Rapes'

SHE'S NOT A LESBIAN ... SHE'S A VAGITARIAN
FILTHY FACKERS #184 - POKE 'ER MOM
ONE FELL INTO THE POO-POO'S NEST
W@NKENSTEIN

Shatman
Shatman Returns
Shatman and the Gobblin'
Shatman Forever

Cocky
Cocky 2
Cocky 3 etc
Fist Blood
Clithanger
Rambone poo
Pambone pee
The Italian Blow Job
Plapoon

The Fist and the Furryarse
Two Fists two furryarses