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Bubba’s Diploma & more

Bubba’s Diploma
[pick the state of your choice to tease~this is how it was sent to us ~ lol]
A student went to Alabama on a football scholarship. He was a great running back, but a poor student. At graduation, he didn't have enough credits. But he was a great football star & the students held a rally demanding the dean give him a diploma anyway. They were so insistent that the dean agreed if Bubba could answer one question correctly he would give him a diploma.
The one question test was held in the auditorium & all the students packed the place. It was standing room only. The dean was on the stage & told him to come up. The dean had the diploma in his hand & said, "Sir, if you answer this question correctly I'll give you your diploma." The dean asked, "How much is three times seven?"
He looked up at the ceiling & down at his shoes, pondering the question. The students chanted, "Graduate him anyway! Graduate him anyway!" He held up his hand & the room became silent. He said, "I think I know the answer. Three times seven is twenty-one."
A hush fell over the auditorium & the Alabama students began another chant. "Give him another chance! Give him another chance!"

There's a lot to be said for ‘Keep It Simple Stupid’...
Ole is pastor of the local Norwegian Catholic Church, & Sven is the minister of the Swedish Lutheran Church across the road. One day they are seen pounding a sign into the ground:
As a car speeds past them, the driver leans out his window & yells, "Leave people alone, you Skandihoovian religious nuts!"
From the curve, they hear screeching tires & a big splash. Shaking his head, Rev. Ole says, "Dat's da terd one dis mornin'."
"Yaa," Pastor Sven agrees, then asks, "Do ya tink maybe da sign should yust say ‘Bridge out’?”

Two boys walked into a pharmacy one day, picked out a box of tampons, & proceeded to the checkout counter.
The pharmacist at the counter asked the older boy, 'Son, how old are you?'
'Eight', the boy replied.
The man continued, 'Do you know what these are for?'
The boy replied, 'Not exactly, but they aren't for me. They're for him. He's my brother. He's four."
"Oh, really?" the pharmacist replied with a grin.
"Yes." the boy said. "We saw on TV that if you use these, you would be able to swim, play tennis & ride a bike. Right now, he can't do none of those."

The Zipper
In a crowded Texas city at a busy bus stop, a woman who was waiting for a bus was wearing a tight leather skirt. As the bus stopped & it was her turn to get on, she became aware that her skirt was too tight to allow her leg to come up to the height of the first step. Slightly embarrassed & with a quick smile to the bus driver, she reached behind her to unzip her skirt a little, thinking that this would give her enough slack to raise her leg.
Again, she tried to make the step only to discover she still couldn't. So, a little more embarrassed, she once again reached behind her to unzip her skirt a little more. For the second time she attempted the step, & once again, much to her chagrin, she could not raise her leg. With a little smile to the driver, she again reached behind to unzip a little more & again was unable to make the step.
About this time, a large Texan who was standing behind her picked her up easily by the waist & placed her gently on the step of the bus. She went ballistic & turned to the would-be Samaritan & screeched, "How dare you touch my body! I don't even know who you are!”
The Texan smiled & drawled, "Well, ma'am, normally I would agree with you, but after you unzipped my fly three times, I kinda figured we was friends."

Splinters in her Crotch
A woman from LA, who was a tree hugger, a liberal Democrat, & an anti-hunter, purchased a piece of timberland near Colville, WA. There was a large tree on one of the highest points in the tract. She wanted a good view of the natural splendor of her land so she started to climb the big tree. As she neared the top she encountered a spotted owl that attacked her. In her haste to escape, the woman slid down the tree to the ground, getting many splinters in her crotch.
In considerable pain, she hurried to a local ER to see a doctor. She explained to the Dr how she came to get all the splinters because, as she proudly proclaimed, she is an environmentalist, a democrat, & an avid anti-hunter.
The doctor listened to her story with great patience & then told her to wait in the examining room & he would see if he could help her. She waited 3 hours before the doctor reappeared.
The angry woman demanded, "What took you so long?" He smiled & told her, "Well, I had to get permits from the Environmental Protection Agency, the Forest Service, & the Bureau of Land Management before I could remove old-growth timber from a "recreational area" so close to a waste treatment facility. I'm sorry, but the bad news is, because of Obama-Care… they turned you down for treatment."