For Shits 'n Grins
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A nun walks into the liquor store around the corner from the church. “I would like a bottle of cognac”, she tells the store owner. “I can’t sell you liquor, sister. What would the people think of me?” the man replied. “It’s OK, it’s for medicinal purposes”, she assures him, “It’s for Mother Superior’s constipation.”

The man thinks for a moment, and then decides that a nun couldn’t possibly be lying so he sells her the cognac.

Later, as he is going home for the night, he goes around the corner and sees the nun at the end of the alley, passed out and sitting against a telephone pole. There are trash cans knocked over all over the place and her habit is pulled up over her head. The man jumps out of his car, runs over to the nun and wakens her. “Sister!” he shouts. “I can’t believe it, you lied to me. You said that cognac was for Mother Superior’s constipation!”

She looks up at him and slurs, “It was, you think she ain’t gonna **** when she sees me?”