Note: This is simultaneously being posted in Claire's forum as well. Let's see if it stays!

Subject: The Legend of Andy Kaufman
Date: 4/18/2006 3:59:47 A.M. Pacific Daylight Time
From: Raaawb
Reply To:
To: Enrique@andykaufmanlives.com

Dear Enrique:

I was intrigued to see your name appear once again today on the message board. As I've been thinking of writing to you lately, this seems a good occasion to actually do so, and I hope you have a little time to listen.

Maybe some things I am thinking about would not find favor with you, and maybe some will. It is my interest to simply express these few things for what they are worth, at least to offer a little perspective from "out there." As the subject of forced perspectives lends itself to the progression of thought toward the idea "not all is as it seems," then part of me thinks that this is something you must appreciate on several levels.

To explain that, just a bit: Those of us who follow your website are basically asked to take many things on faith without something solid to back up that faith. This all takes place in the territory of the internet, where people find the freedom to expound endlessly, which is good, but which also encourages people to express falsehoods or rabid hostility or, at least, half-assed conjecture. This erodes the ability for the observer to discern what is truth. This causes a healthy skepticism to grow where many things are concerned, but especially "internet" things.

Just as you have today expressed some disappointing thoughts toward some of our steadfast contributors, it seems you are forcing your own perception to reach conclusions "we" might wish you wouldn't. After enduring several bumps and bruises along the way, yes, some of us are still here, paying attention. For you to casually dismiss any of us is to basically lend weight to the justification any of us could have to dismiss your own messages as well!

Which disappointing thoughts? Okay. First, there's Tupelo. Yes, he has fallen away from regular contributions somewhat, but he has been a steadfast, kind presence... one who has helped make this journey of following AndyKaufmanLives dot com enjoyable. He has rather refreshingly expressed his appreciation of the little adventure you provided for him, both at the time and again today, some time later... yet you dismiss him. Flagging at about 1%? May I ask, who are you to dismiss him so? He has been truthful about his thoughts, and I would wager there is not a soul who "listens" here who feels in his or her soul that everything you express is the truth. And especially in a forum about Andy Kaufman, who did trade on misdirections... how can you expect unquestioning faith? Possibly the most you can hope for is that people will find what you say intriguing, and that they will stick around and keep listening because you have offered just enough to be worth listening to.

Then, there is "Ruby." I felt most disappointed by your offhanded "no more flights to Arizona" in the same breath about "true believers," which you assert Tupelo to not be among. Let me tell you Mr. Presley, Ruby is probably the closest you could hope to find to being a "true believer" than most of the rest of us. She listened to "Winston" when he jumped in and pretended to BE Andy... and this primarily based on your original messages combined with the truth that there was nothing said anywhere on either your site or the message board by someone "official" that he has nothing to do with the site. I'm hoping you know the subsequent story, or at least some of it. He lured people off to another message board and promised an actual meeting with Andy Kaufman in Las Vegas... and nothing from Enrique or Claire to indicate that this person was not also an author of this site's thoughts and ideas. If there is any chance that he IS truly connected with the site, then you are possibly all guilty of complicity in several illegal acts which he has subsequently engaged in, which continues to this day. I have publicly expressed my own belief that he is NOT connected to this... yet I've not been met with any appreciation for this show of support, nor even any simple form of confirmation. Remember, when I wrote to you long ago to express concern that he was about to bring disruption to the message board? Your reply to me through your novel method of delivery was basically that you were unconcerned about him. He was the one who may have scared Leo off, remember? When he posted his nasty message toward him... and we never saw Leo again? He is the same one who is posting all the derogatory messages about me in the message board today, because I tried to foil his efforts to hurt others.

After the Las Vegas fiasco, he thumbed his nose at everyone, and proceeded to terrorize his victims. In particular, Ruby, who had engaged him in friendly conversation for some time, and who really didn't react sharply to his fraud. Bless her, she even viewed the trip to Vegas as a nice journey where she at least got to meet the fellow fans. I shouldn't try to speak on her behalf as her thoughts are her own, but from my own interactions with her she has seemed to be probably the most intrigued of any of us by what you've had to say, and you have sorely let her down by not helping to protect her from this man... something which it was certainly within your (or Claire's) power to have helped with. Was it your responsibility? Obviously you don't believe so. Just the few words "Winston has nothing to do with the AndyKaufmanLives.com site" may have been too much bother to post. Maybe you all feel "blame free" with regard to any of Winston's transgressions. I don't really know what your own "forced perspective" is with regard to any of this... there is simply no feedback whatsoever about it. Yet, it is a significant thing to consider within the big picture, where your own credibility is concerned.

Did you know that Winston proceeded to post awful, sexually explicit blogs about Ruby in the aftermath, including posting her real name and real facts about her alongside, such as her phone number and address? No, maybe you don't know this. He was guilty of true harassment of her, possibly even endangering her safety in the process. Do the people at AndyKaufmanLives dot com care about this? It appears not. I tried to help her, and my own interaction with the matter has resulted in his more recent focus on me. Now, he delights in posting whatever he likes on your message board, with apparently full approval from Claire, continually posting pictures of me, my friends, family and even pets; my address, my phone number, and even a map to my home. I have stepped back from posting somewhat, not because I fear him, but because it is really an unnecessary distraction to any discussion about Andy Kaufman. Right now, nearly anything I post publicly will encourage some response from him. I also would not have this problem if you had just said a few words long ago to discourage anyone from thinking he had anything to do with you.

So, stepping back to the aftermath of "Vegas," you must realize at least that his fraud directly reflected upon your site and message board. I could find no one else who would say with the same certainty I felt, that he was not connected with you. I tried to express this to Claire because still, I was concerned that it would cause a disruption to the ongoing discussion... which it most certainly did. Her reaction was to lash out at the regular participants, particularly, at ME. She posted some awful, vile things in her efforts to scroll the messages off of the separate message board I created. A board I created in order to allow anyone who still cared to continue peacefully congregating and chatting, because Claire by this time had effectively shut down her board and was deleting most of the messages from the regulars, as though they had somehow betrayed her. If this does not make too much sense, I could explain it further if you like, but suffice it to say, that appears to be what happened.

I am not trying to engage in clever wordplay here, to invite any jousting or pithy, mysterious replies. Perception does have a lot to do with this, and I don't want to try to trade too heavily on that notion in some effort to be philosophical... but from your messages today it seems you are sorely sheltered from the realities which have resulted directly and indirectly from your site and offshoot message board.

Before today, I wanted to write to simply express more fully my own thoughts about the ideas expressed on your core website. So, I will once again say that I was very happy to find your site two years ago, as a 30-year-long fan of Andy Kaufman. I saw his first appearance on national TV when it aired in 1974 and remembered him well from it, and was there to witness most of his significant appearances... SNL, Fridays, Dick Van **** and many others, as they first aired. He struck a very special chord with me. When his death was reported, I did actively and hopefully consider the notion that it might not have been real, and when it seemed like most people forgot about Andy Kaufman as the years went by, I still thought about him. I mused that someday, someone must write a book about him. I saw Nicolas Cage adopt a particular expression another time, and it dawned on me that he would be a good candidate to play him in a film. Just a couple of years after that, I saw that this idea actually bloomed in someone else's mind, too, even though the part eventually went to someone else.

Before the film idea gained steam, I also found the "official site" and reveled in the idea that someone out there was also remembering Andy and was sharing some of these stories it felt like no one else remembered. Then, when the 20th anniversary event happened, it also fortuitously fell into my view, just as so many of his televised appearances had... I never really needed to look for them; they just seemed to find me. Then, I was not really in a good position to spend $50 or more on an evening's entertainment, but at the last minute I decided I had to go. At 7:00 that night I drove there, deciding that I would see it no matter what, and also deciding that I would find a good place to park once there. As I drove along Sunset, I found one lone parking spot free, just one block from the venue. Then, I waited in a long line to find the event was sold out.

Undeterred, I realized that the restaurant portion of the venue still offered a view into the main room, so I went inside and ordered food and watched from behind the glass. After a short time, I became aware of an older fellow sitting at the next table, oddly attired in what I recall as an old-fashioned tweed jacket of one color and a hat of a similar pattern, but a different color. And, what could be seen of his hair sticking out from the front was one color, perhaps brown; while the hair sticking out of the back portion seemed almost orange in color. He sat there alone, and I invited him to join me.

In talking to him, I found he seemed to be mostly unaware of much to do with Andy Kaufman, yet there he sat, obviously having somehow made his way to that spot at that point in time to be there to see this event. His simplest explanation was that he had been a fan of John Belushi, who had been a friend of Andy's. I guessed the man's age to be somewhere near 60.

I then began telling him of some Andy stories I knew, since he seemed uninformed, but interested. One in particular was explaining the "Fridays" story, as someone on stage had just referred to it. I didn't chat with him the full time because, of course, there was a show going on. I did chance to allow myself to gaze at him from the side, wondering if his slightly odd attire was a disguise of some sort. Still, his skin seemed genuine, and he bore no special resemblance to anyone I'd ever seen before.

At one point he excused himself to the restroom. He was gone for a while, and finally I decided to risk losing the food I had on the table to make my own trip. As I exited the restroom, I saw him on a nearby pay phone, and of course he did not see me as I passed by, but I heard him rather enthusiastically telling whoever was on the other end, "Fridays! No, it was called Fridays!" I didn't stay to eavesdrop, but as I walked back to the table, I laughed to myself that I could have embraced any notion that this man could have been there for some mysterious reason; that he could have been someone at least significant in Andy Kaufman's life.

He rejoined me, and as we watched the film they were showing, I noticed that the music which we thought was part of the soundtrack had seemed to be continuing for an oddly long time. I commented on this to him, and as we both listened more intently, we realized that the sound from the main room had actually been cut off and replaced with music from a radio station. So we both wandered over by the back door leading from the main room into the restaurant area, where by this time many were exiting to use the restrooms, so the door was mostly left open.

We both stood in the doorway watching the film until an employee said we couldn't. It was nearing midnight, so I realized that I ought to go move my car, as the posted signs were unclear as to whether parking was allowed after midnight. When I returned from moving my car, I went to one of the other entrances and asked the person there if it would at least be possible to come in at the end to see what collectible items, particularly DVDs, might be for sale... and he invited me inside right then, in time to watch Tony Clifton's performance. As I searched for a good place to stand, I passed the same gentleman I had been sitting with earlier, who had also somehow made his way inside, who was now sitting cross-legged on the floor. I didn't join him this time, nor did I see him again after that.

After joining the crowd for "milk and cookies" and other events at The Comedy Store across the street, I also joined the candlelight procession to "Andy's old apartment" and was in the second group of 20 people to visit. After viewing all that was displayed inside, I found the small group of Houdini postcards sitting on a counter, and took one.

The next day, anxious to see what anyone else had to share about that event online, I finally happened upon Claire's message board. I hadn't really thought about what was on the postcard until someone else mentioned also having taken one while inside the apartment... and then I realized that this very message board I had found was an offshoot of the site mentioned on the postcard. That postcard was just another odd little thing that just appeared in my path, without my seeking it out. Maybe, just another little thing in my life I was meant to find.

So, my own "faith," if you will, stems from the many fortuitous or synchronous events which combined to bring Andy Kaufman into my life, combined with my own fanciful notion that he could still be out there, alive.

As I have proceeded with researching information more in earnest after finding this community of folks, I became mostly convinced that, despite such romanticism of thought, it appeared most likely that Mr. Kaufman's physical form did indeed cease to live on that day in 1984. Despite whatever anyone could conjecture to the contrary, there has always been the matter of many witnesses to his death and an actual doctor, who really exists and may still be practicing to this day, who signed his death certificate... not any random doctor; but one who had seen him before his death and certainly knew who he was. One who would stand to lose quite a bit if he were to falsely sign such an official document.

Still, my appreciation of the notion of AndyKaufmanLives dot com, survived nonetheless. I liked the idea that whatever it had to say, it might yet further the legend of someone I had learned to appreciate very much as a distinct and special presence on this earth. Someone I felt deserved much grander attention than he had been afforded by the public at large.

So, Enrique, pardon my disappointment in feeling you and yours have sadly dropped that ball. I tried to help when I could and was met with coldness. I helped to preserve the community with a separate message board where they could still discuss anything they wished to about Andy Kaufman, including the messages posted on your site. Any criticism I have offered about the behavior of the message board's administrator was still meant constructively and designed to encourage continued discussion. I have seen many people crassly post very negative messages without encouraging any discourse... they just had to say they thought it was all bull**** and get that off their chest. Amid it all, I have always championed the idea that preserving the legend of Andy Kaufman was the important thing.

Could he still be alive, then? Well, frankly, if I am asked to ignore supposedly good evidence to the contrary and rely upon what you and Claire have had to say on the matter, there has been nothing truly convincing. There has only been "Steve Rocco" and "Jesus" and various mischievous misdirections, and even uncharacteristic hostility from people whose mission it might seem was to enlighten and encourage. "Steve Rocco" was transparent to any of us who witnessed his name spring forth on your website after one of us related the real-life story about him, and this even caused some trouble as we suddenly found our messages deleted when we tried to discuss the matter. That was the first appearance of hostility from the administrator, which grew into increasing frustration from the regular participants. This actually allowed Winston to insert himself into the equation.

You know, I wrote to Claire to ask her to remove the recent harassing messages, and she did not. I read this as further hostility on her part, and this also makes her a willing accomplice to his actions, which are most definitely illegal and actionable. I have had a lot of patience with regard to this, but am keeping my options widely open as to my choice of a possible response to it. This is not the same as an "editorial decision" to allow those messages to remain... it is an active assistance to a crime in progress.

Enrique, I have tried to help support your efforts and to keep the ultimate goal of "furthering Andy's legend" as the foremost thing. While on one hand I am glad that Claire seems to have resumed some of her congeniality on the board, while also being glad to see you seem to be making new progress with new messages for your visitors, I am at a crossroads... actually have been for a while. I have refrained from publicly complaining about the very real problems which I have explained, which you and Claire could have addressed but chose not to. I have even refrained from criticizing elements of the site I find personal and aesthetic disagreements with, instead favoring the ultimate goal over the little pieces.

But when, such as today, I see you casually and callously dismissing people who have helped to keep your site and message board ALIVE and have joyously participated along the way and encouraged others to do so... people who have helped make this journey a pleasure... I have to say: You are wrong, sir.

In "Willy Wonka," which parallel you invite via the notion of "Golden Tickets," the proprietor of that Chocolate Factory was, at heart, not some kindly benefactor as part of the story might suggest, particularly the ending, but a rather mean, devious soul who pessimistically shut himself off from real people and delighted in the damage which resulted to innocent, though misguided, children whose main interest was to simply see the Chocolate Factory. He purposefully exploited their weaknesses and justified this as a proper thing to do because, after all, if they didn't have those weaknesses, they wouldn't have suffered so. I don't believe the author's intent was to hold him up as a pillar of goodness at all; rather it was to show how Charlie's own goodness triumphed over his darkness.

So, what are you looking for with your own Golden Tickets? Someone who will likewise finally come along and invest you with renewed faith in humanity? Or are you here to invite people to offer you trust without cause, only to find that you, too, will let them nearly drown, blow up like giant blueberries, fall down a dangerous chute, or be diminished terribly somehow?

Faith must come from some form of trust. We have seen very little upon which to base any faith, but many things upon which to base deep distrust.

Andy Kaufman did exploit weaknesses in people in order to further his mischief, but certainly only up to a point. I think he would be greatly pained if one of his stunts either directly or indirectly actually hurt someone. That, sir, is a major difference here. You seem not to care at all if someone gets hurt along the way.

Of course you don't need to care what I think of all of this. I suppose I am writing to explore if you have any positive reaction to any of this, any desire to try to offset the damage, or if you will continue as always, insensitive to your audience. We did not come here to be victims, yet you either directly or indirectly seem to encourage it to happen. We should, by all rights, be on the same side as fans of the man and his works.

Don't convince yourself that planting your seeds of mystery in Tennessee and Arizona were selfless acts of kindness. You had your agenda. People may have been delighted by these acts, but these were not true gifts you offered.

Don't you dare come around and tell these people they aren't worthy of your "Golden Tickets." So far, you have not proven yourself worthy of the kindness they have showed by giving you their attention. You have the chance to deliver something positive, or something negative. If you want faith, right now you are witnessing much more of that than you are entitled to, by the grace of some kind, patient people. Please don't forget that, and don't take it for granted.

I don't expect you will embrace what I've had to say here, but do know that it comes out of an interest in helping offer some information to use for your own perspective. I shared my own story from May 2004 with you today as something I have not offered publicly, and it is offered with some optimism that it may have some meaning to you.

Sincerely,

-- Rob Baker


From: Stephen Maddox
To: Raaawb@aol.com
Sent: Tue, 18 Apr 2006 04:51:31 -0700 (PDT)
Subject: Re: The Legend of Andy Kaufman

REJECTED
This message will not be forwarded to site administrators for consideration.
Reason: A cursory review has deemed it not in the form of a question.
Sincerly The Staff


Subject: Re: The Legend of Andy Kaufman
Date: 4/18/2006 11:09:20 A.M. Pacific Daylight Time
From: Raaawb
To: enrique@andykaufmanlives.com

Yes. Right. Well. Forward it anyway. A response is anticipated, and it is indeed a many-layered question.


Subject: Re: The Legend of Andy Kaufman
Date: 4/18/2006 11:25:25 A.M. Pacific Daylight Time
From: enrique@andykaufmanlives.com
To: raaawb@aol.com

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Thank You
The Staff

Hey Rob,

I think this deserves some sort of recognition from someone. It's really got to be quite an undertaking and, I'm sure, a less-than pleasant experience to recount all of this. There are plenty of legitimate questions in here that deserve to be answered, but I'm sure they won't be at this point. Whatever the motives of the man behind the curtain, the method has always been evasion, and it probably won't change. In fact, I think that's basically the whole trick... all Enrique has ever done is to act like he *might* know something that other people don't about Andy Kaufman's life and possible death. Because people like us made the mistake of saying "well, *assuming* that's true -- what else you got," each subsequent "clue" has carried weight. If they started explaining anything away at this point, it would lose the ounce of mystery it has left to the few people still casually following along.

I agree that whomever the person/people behind the Claire and Enrique personas is/are should have created some distance from the Winston persona, and obviously none of these folks have anyone's best interest in mind. It's too bad -- I think they and everyone else could have had a lot more fun with this wild goose chase if they'd taken a little more care.

I do actually give some credence to the theory posited here some time back that 'person b' essentially wrangled the Claire board away from 'person a' after 'a' lost interest. Remember the day that board was shut down and then reopened? I don't think the original Claire is around to answer for herself anymore.

That's about it. I know I'm not too central to the goings on here, I just thought your heartfelt letter deserved some sort of discussion.

-Levi

I enjoyed reading about your evening at the House of Blues, Rob. I agree with levi's assessment of the situation. Personally, I wouldn't worry your heart about the happenings over there or give them any more of your time, attention, emotional energy, etc. Take care of yourself, Rob.

Ironic, the subject header of this topic, as it never really had anything to do with Andy Kaufman. The House of Blues show had more to do with Bob's Tony Clifton and Jim Carrey's Andy. The andykaufmanlives site had more to do with an egoist trying to play games with people in the name of Kaufman.