The doctor who signed the death certificate, you mean?

That was Dr. Steven B. Rubins, 435 N. Roxbury Drive, Beverly Hills, CA 90210

He's still currently listed at the address noted on the death certificate.

Geez...

"Hi, my name is Andy, and I'm a chocoholic."

In searching further, particularly any apparent connection between "Andy Kaufman" and "Dr. Rubins," I found the following article, which seems to posit the theory:

ANDY KAUFMAN DIED FROM TOO MUCH CHOCOLATE.

I doubt I would have ever seen this article otherwise. One unusual thing, in amongst the rather unusual claims, is that it once refers to "Dr. Rubins" and then immediately spells the name "Reubens." That makes it hard to know if this is the same Doctor who signed Andy's death certificate. Perhaps this could be clarified by reviewing Zehme's book, from which the article apparently sources its information. (I don't know where my copy of that book is, offhand.)

The thing, to me at least, would be to determine whether or not Andy regularly visited Dr. Rubins as his health was declining. If so, and if he was accompanied by any acquaintances there as well, then it seems to me it would be a rather certain thing that Dr. Rubins knew full well whose death certificate he was signing. He wouldn't likely have been fooled by a substituted body if Andy was a regular patient. And he certainly wouldn't have risked his credibility by knowingly signing a false legal document.

I'm surprised there hasn't been more discussion about Dr. Rubins.

Anyway, below is the copied article from the web address http://www.notmilk.com/forum/forum11.txt. I had to reformat it quite a bit due to spacing and wrapping problems, but I thought it would be of great interest to everyone:

From: i4crob@earthlink.net
Date: Sat Aug 18, 2001 12:20 pm
Subject: - THE MAN IN THE MOON LIVES

THE MAN IN THE MOON LIVES

Some people say that the moon may be made of cheese, but I know for certain that the man in the moon, who lived for just 35 years, was a dairy lover.

Jim Carrey played Andy Kaufman in MAN ON THE MOON, a stunning movie (for Kaufman fans, like myself) spanning this brilliant comic's career as stand-up comic to his Saturday Night Live stint, and subsequent sitcom Taxi role as Latka.

One of my readers contacted me after researching Kaufman's life. Thanks to Roger Brenneise for the heads up on Andy Kaufman's love of milk and dairy products. Roger's EMAIL: rwbhealer@yahoo.com

Andy Kaufman was into health and fitness and ate a macrobiotic diet. He did not smoke and had only one vice. He was a self-admitted milk-chocoholic and ice cream lover.

The following information is contained within Bill Zehme's book, Lost in the Funhouse - The Life and Mind of Andy Kaufman.

Andy's mom:

The tonsils came out next, just months later. He had a lot of colds. We promised him ice cream. Ice cream! He liked to mush it so it went down smoothly in his throat, which felt scratchy. Mush and smush it with his spoon. He would always want it just like that way. I wonder if it all started with the tonsils. His ice cream was a ritual all his life.

One of Andy's friends:

He purified himself in every way. The diet, of course, was full of mulches and grains and weeds and sprouts and broths and curds and juices and herbs-all of which certainly balanced and purged the chunks and mounds and nuggets and bowls of chawwklitt. He called it chawwwwwwwkkklittttt and his eyes would dance at the sight or mention of it.

The author:

As long as he could meditate for two hours per morning in complete silence and again at night and could prepare his newfound macrobiotic diet (brown rice and raw beans and similar flavorless purities) and could stow one daily carton of Haagen-Dazs ice cream in a freezer (could not sleep without first devouring a full pint), he was fine.

He would not/could not drink beer with them or sports or chicks or news of the day with them; after his sets, he busied himself with the club's supply of ice cream or chocolate cake.

Andy also began a long association with a club called Pips in the Sheepshead Bay section of Brooklyn, where he was actually paid and additionally got to consume all the ice cream he wished (preferably hot fudge sundaes in beer mugs for better mixology).

New York Magazine, meanwhile, had sent writer Janet Coleman out to do a major profile of him that would be published the week TAXI premiered. So he invited Coleman up to the La Concierge Towers and Kathy Utman served snacks-Coleman wrote:

We were having this menu: four pints (two chocolate) of Haagen-Dazs ice cream, a box of cookies (chocolate chip), a box of cookies (chocolate covered mint), two double boxes of Mallomars, a bag of Lidos, a jar of Ovaltine, a can of Quik, and milk.

Andy:

I don't usually have this much chocolate. I'm trying to cut down.

They drove, Cooney, Andy, no Bob, to three places, in each of which Andy questioned management as to whether the fish was fried or broiled; he wanted it broiled; it was always fried; he settled for a Bob's Big Boy; ordered himself fried fish and two chocolate shakes.

Cooney:

I'll never forget that he had *two* chocolate shakes.

He told Dr Rubins about the cough and said his left arm hurt, too. We did a chest X-ray, Rubins would recall. And we saw a lesion in the left lung on the left-heart border.

Dr. Reubens:

It came back large-cell carcinoma, which is a fairly highly virulent cancer of the lung that can occur, sporadically, in non-smokers. In patients under forty, (Dr) Young would see it approximately once every two years. The tumor was blocking a bronchial tube, which had caused pneumonia, which had caused the cough. He saw only one reason that this was happening to him. It's the chocolate. Too much chocolate.

Afterward, Budd took George aside and said:

Do you think Andy would like to have a little bon voyage party upstairs at the club with some friends and chocolate ice cream?

So a big troop of them repaired to the Improv and the ice cream was plentiful and Andy was happy for the first time in many months.

Andy Kaufman died in 1984 at age 35.

Roger Brenneise wrote to me:

Andy is the poster-boy for dairy-death! He didn't drink, smoke, do drugs, or eat meat. He practiced Transcendental Meditation and yoga every day. He was incredibly healthy (uhh, physically anyway) except that he gorged on dairy products! It's like the PERFECT experiment for the effects of milk...too bad it was Andy.

Too bad, indeed. I've written this before, and I'll write and say it again. A Hershey's chocolate candy bar is nothing more than brown cheese with sugar.

Milk is evaporated and concentrated to manufacture milk chocolate. Milk is evaporated and concentrated to make cheese.

Milk, cheese, and milk chocolate are addictive. There is a naturally occurring opiate in milk that is similar to morphine. It's called casomorphin. See:

http://www.notmilk.com/aa.html

Does milk give one Andy-Kaufman-like mood swings, depression, and irritability?

Those were three of the symptoms named by the Townsend Medical Letter in their May, 1995 issue, attributed to milk consumption.

Kaufman died of cancer.

One very powerful growth hormone in organic milk and dairy products has been called the key factor in the growth and proliferation of every human cancer. Milk from cows injected with genetically engineered hormones contains increased amounts of this powerful growth hormone. See:

http://www.notmilk.com/b.html

and

http://www.notmilk.com/g.html

Would Andy Kaufman, faced with the scientific evidence, have had the will to completely give up all milk and dairy? Fans of Andy can continue to debate that question, while asking themselves something even more important.

Will your friends and relatives be able to eliminate ice cream, cheese, and milk chocolate from their diets after reading this entire column, complete with the last three links?

Some people say that the man in the man in the moon is dead. Others might recognize that, from the grave, Andy waited seventeen years to deliver the least funny punchline of his career:

NOTMILK!

AFTERMATH

My favorite lines from a TAXI episode.

THE EPISODE: LOUIE'S MOTHER

THE SETTING

Louis asks Alex to come over to his house for a party in honor of Louie's mother moving to a resting home. Alex says:

You know something Lou? I can't believe this but I'm actually tempted to go to that party. It's sort of a nagging curiosity in me. The sort of morbid curiosity when you pass a car wreck, you just gotta slow down. When you got a sore in your mouth, you just got to put your mouth to it so you know it hurts. When you got a container of milk that you know is spoiled, you just gotta smell it before you throw it out.

Louie:

I can't wait either.

Robert Cohen
http://www.notmilk.com