Found this on the ol' infra-webby-thingy. Interesting on a few different levels.

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Ask Evil Matt


The Evil One fields your queries; as channeled by Sister Ob’dewlla ‘X’


Q: what is Truth?

A: Pilate asked Jesus that same question (John 18:38) but never got an answer, and I believe this is because there isn’t one. I’ve had this conversation before, and it gets messy and convoluted. I’ll try to keep it short and simple.

Webster’s Unabridged gives, among others, three definitions: 1) the true or actual state of a matter. 2) conformity with fact or reality. 3) a verified or indisputable fact, proposition, or principle.

I’ll shoot those down on the grounds of “subjectivity.” Something may be “true” TO ME but not to other observers. Two examples to illustrate:

The sky is blue.
A person who is colour-blind would certainly disagree; to them, the sky would be green. Is the colour-blind person wrong? Only from my (non-colour-blind) standpoint.

2 + 2 = 4
Believe it or not, there are forms of mathematics where that is not the case. I do not understand them, but I know that they exist and are valid within their own parameters. Do some research on non-Euclidean geometry if you don’t believe me. For those who still call “shenanigans!” consider the Trinity. If you can believe that 3 = 1 then you can laterally jump to 2 + 2 ≠ 4.

“Truth” is one of those murky, abstract CONCEPTS like “infinity,” “nothing”, and “love” that describe an IDEAL which cannot be objectively (and empirically) quantified. Most things can be demonstrated to be “conditionally true,” but unfortunately there seems to be an exception to every rule that precludes an absolute.

Hope this was of some help.

No, huh...

[note from shade: this question was asked Evil Matt by ‘Sean,’ who is unknown to any of us. Evil’s original reply (quoted above) to the sender’s cross@pcola.gulf.net address was mailerdaemoned. This has raised concerns among a few of the crew here; did a casual reader get whacked by the Brain Police for asking a question of that magnitude? Or is this a BP feeler to see how much we really know? If legit, it is hoped this answer reaches him.]

Q: how did Andy Kaufman Die?

A: Lung cancer, which is unusual in that he did not smoke or do drugs. It is speculated that he got it from second-hand smoke at all the comedy clubs he played.

Q: Can you do... The Milano Mosh?

A: I think that I’m really hard! I think that I can mosh! Got my suspenders, and got my boots! Got plate mail +8 (you filthy tool!) I mosh until I die! I mosh until I fry! I think that I can try, and I can do... The Milano Mosh!

Q: Matt, you know how an object appears to become larger as you approach it? Does infinity become larger as you approach it?

A: Yes, but only if you approach it in a car in reverse, looking at it in the side-view mirror. (you know, ‘objects in mirror are closer than... ’aw, nevermind.)

Q: Where does Hebrew come from?

A: “Classical” (ie: Biblical) Hebrew is an offshoot of the Canaanite family of the Semitic language group, which also includes Phoenician, Moabite, Ammonite, and Ugaritic. The earliest known (written) example of it is from the 15th century B.C.E. though it is undoubtedly much older. Even in Old Testament times there were different, distinct dialects of Hebrew, as emphasized by Judges 11:5-6 (where Ephramite fugitives’ pronunciation of ‘sibboleth’—compared to ‘shibboleth’—betrayed their origins to their Gileadite enemies.) Interestingly, the word ‘Hebrew’ itself is not of Israelite origin, but has been traced to Ugaritic, where it means either ‘bonded servant’ or (more likely) ‘slave.’

Q: Didn’t the star’s in Orion’s Belt used to be in a straight line? Seems I rememer ’em that way, but clearly now they’re not. This is bothering me.

A: Nope, the center one has always been off, at least as far back as my research shows (Egyptian astrology chart, ca 3000 B.C.E.) If you remember them in a straighgt line, you were viewing them from somewhere other than Earth. Were you not on Earth recently? That could be it.

Q: If a tree falls in the forest and no one sees it, does it make a sound?

A: Sure does, usually “I’ve fallen and I can’t get up!”

“Truth” is one of those murky, abstract CONCEPTS like “infinity,” “nothing”, and “love” that describe an IDEAL which cannot be objectively (and empirically) quantified. Most things can be demonstrated to be “conditionally true,” but unfortunately there seems to be an exception to every rule that precludes an absolute.

Evil Matt? more like stupid Matt. (I kid)

The exception becomes part of the truth. And so on as such exponentially. Opening and opening. Go ahead, make an exception to this statement and see what happens. Then guess who's at the other end of the spiral.

Toto! Auntie Em!

I think my brain just opened up a notch.

Yes, I entered "There is an exception to every rule" into my computer, then asked it if there were any exceptions to that very rule. In cliché land, the computer should then begin smoking in its own version of confusion, and begin spouting "That does not compute!"

As I actually cannot ask my computer questions outright in such a fashion, I then opened up Freecell and played that instead. I won!

Writing style kinda reminded me of Syllepsis.

When you enter a situation assuming that it is by design, you look for the catch. You applaud the "cleverness" and you criticize that which does not suit you. You will never see the truth because the truth is not a catch or a clue. The truth is not scripted and the truth will always allude you. All of this is the truth and the truth is real.

So what is the truth?

All of this is real. It is an awareness of 360 degrees all at once.