Andy Kaufman's House of Chicken 'n' Waffles!

Some syrup may get on your chicken but that's okay.

Andy Kaufman's House of Chicken 'n' Waffles!
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thank you

Thank you too much for the nice words about my fellow Mexicanos. I am here living with my seven brothers and thank you to your words, I will bring my other 9 brothers and 5 sisters. We are trying to live the American Dream: Big American Welfare. Ay dios mio! It will be an honor to steal tax money from people who are too nice like you.

Please don't worry about your jobs. If you are a doctor, lawyer, politician, teacher or other white collar job, we can't take your job. But if you work in a factory or are a meat cutter or you work in any job of middle class, we are coming for you! Here in Mexico we have no middle class, you should not too. So my hermanos are getting rid of the fat, lazy middle class. No more health care or dental or 401k. Hehehehe. What do you need those for anyway? We in Mexico die when we have 55 years too old.

We come to your country 100,000 every month. We bring corruption and poverty to you, you give money to us. Soon our countries be too much alike. But we not let you to work in Mexico.

Special Thank you to Lulu who will leave my brothers and sisters food and water in the dessert. If only all Gringos were so kind as to aid a felony. I will repay you soon when I move into your barrio and **** in your alleys and have fist fights with my woman.

Thank you to all. I will see you all soon. My other Mexicans are coming for you. We want your middle class and you welfare. We have 20 kids and will outnumber you. No street signs in English. No Taco Bell. No more July 4. Now, 5 de Mayo. Viva Mexico!!! Viva Mexico!!!

Re: no, thank YOU!

Dear Tony,

Your very welcome for the kind words! and thank YOU for the opportunity to say a few more, directly addressing some of these pernicious misconceptions that continue to delude the American public!

"I am here living with my seven brothers and thank you to your words, I will bring my other 9 brothers and 5 sisters."

That's great! So either you are able to bring them legally if you are a citizen, which means I'm very sorry but that will take on average 10 to 20 years due to the backlog in our administrative system (very convenient for xenophobia, eh?)... or, you will pay a coyote to smuggle them, in which case they have a good chance of dying or being apprehended and deported. If by small chance they do make it illegally, they too will toil in jobs that most Americans refuse to take, earning low wages and pooling income among extended kinship networks to survive, adding to our tax base and social security, only to find that they are not eligible to receive any benefits such as subsidized medical care or welfare! Let's see them find good health care and pay for it at $7 an hour (if they are lucky to make that much)!

"Here in Mexico we have no middle class, you should not too."

The economic structure of a country did not -poof!- appear out of thin air, created instantaneously by the current population. The economic situation, employment structure, job opportunities, and infrastructure (highways, schools, medical care) were created over time and through particular political decisions that were also made in specific contexts.

The current bifurcation in the American employment structure is an effect of globalized capitalism, growing monopolies, and the change post-industrialization to a service economy. Companies need to maximize profit, and they can do so by cutting their production costs. If companies can't find employees within the country who will work for low wages, on a flexible/temporary schedule, with no benefits, they will simply outsource to a population in another country.

"We come to your country 100,000 every month. We bring corruption and poverty to you, you give money to us."

Are you saying Mexican immigrants are criminals? They are not. Mexicans who migrate to the US are looking for jobs. They are not even the poorest of the poor-- those people can't afford to migrate. Mexican families who send migrant workers are diversifying their resources (by sending one or two family members) in order to survive in Mexico. Mexico's second-highest source of income is remittances from family members working (and paying taxes!) in the US. As cultural mores change (as a result of this uprootedness, and incidentally the militarization of the border, which makes it much harder for family members to engage in traditional circular and seasonal migration) more women are migrating, too. And don't even get me started on the whole domestic worker thing. Darn, I was hoping there was one for "blowing one's top".

Please don't forget, while we're at it, that parts of Arizona, New Mexico, and California actually WERE Mexico until about 150 years ago. I mentioned traditional seasonal migration-- that has been going on for a long time, and going along quite smoothly. It wasn't ideal for Mexican men to leave their families behind, but at least they could support their families financially and still return a few months a year to see them. Many researchers argue that the US militarization of the border has actually created these problems that catch media attention now of professional smugglers, and people dying in the desert (by monitoring certain parts of the border, and for example, building steel walls along the border in CA and NM, rather than simply creating guest worker programs or ways for people to enter and work legally). Well, we had to do something I guess with all our leftover equipment from Vietnam. And politicians have to do something to look like they are protecting the country. From what, I don't know. If you ask me, the real culprit is globalized capitalism. Whatever, there's no such thing as a free market, markets are totally monitored and fiddled with, but as long as people care more about money than humanity, things will continue to follow this bifurcated trend of vast inequality and disparity, and the media and politicians and lots of other people will continue to find a scapegoat.

I just don't see how people can ignore or not see that the wealthy part of the world is white, and wealthy due to imperialism and exploitation! I guess it's just a testament to continued racism, classism, discrimination, greed, ignorance and apathy in general. Let's get out there and fight it! Yeah! RAH, RAH, SIS-BOOM-BAH!!!

Sincerely,

Lulu

Re: Re: no, thank YOU!

By the way, there is a guy in one of my classes who was an attorney in Mexico and he's rather cute, and the accent helps, of course. I always had kind of a crush on him and I ran onto him the other day in the School of Justice Studies and Social Inquiry building-- I had to make some photocopies, so he took my papers and copied them for free since he had the code for the machine! So sweet! But, my enthusiasm was dampened when I saw for the first time that he has two giant tufts of fur growing out of his nostrils. I'm sorry, Francisco.

Re: Re: no, thank YOU!

I wish I had something to add to that.

Please skip over this if you think I am tiresome

Oh, gosh, i could go on and on. That was by no means a thorough treatment. For one thing, I didn't even touch domestic violence.

Anyway, I was just thinking-- I just got home from the grocery store, where I bought some fresh fruit and vegetables. I was eating blackberries after finishing dinner, and I was thinking about how much the blackberries would cost if an American worker had cultivated and picked them. I am using the term "American" to signify a person who supposedly has more political clout. A Mexican migrant worker has no political clout-- especially illegal and undocumented. An American worker would form or join a union, in order to get health coverage, 401 k, job stability, etc, right? An American worker would want work that paid throughout the year, at a liveable wage. How much are my blackberries costing me now? Would I still buy them? We really live off of the working poor. The working poor subsidize our luxurious lifestyles.

the water buffalo

This is funny... from an email from the people who put drinking water in the desert...

We will meet
at the parking lot just south
of campus and carpool in a personal vehicle to Ajo,
where we pick up the truck (referred to by the border patrol as "the
water buffalo").

Re: Please skip over this if you think I am tiresome

Blackberry prices have gotten rather expensive:

http://tinyurl.com/an7fp

And now, here's Yoda & Darth vader:

Re: Re: no, thank YOU!

Wow. Now, I'm sure I don't even know half of what you know about these issues... you're obviously very well studied on this. One thing I ended up being curious about, since within your message there was an undercurrent of outrage about the treatment of, and the advantage which is taken of, these Mexican immigrants and laborers... is whether that general feeling I get from reading this should translate into an advocacy of allowing the immigrants easier passage into the U.S., or an advocacy of something else, such as a general improvement of their living conditions within Mexico, so as to not necessitate coming across the border as a priority option?

Okay, so they're picking blackberries more cheaply and even doing domestic work for pennies... when weighed against "our own" standard of living, it falls way short, of course. But once across the border, do they have better overall opportunities than they had at home? Aside from any outright abuses which they suffer at the hands of the insensitive... well, I'm just trying to figure out what is being advocated in place of the situation as you describe it. What is the remedy, if any?

It could be very difficult to perceive the relative rightness or wrongness of the situation of the average illegal immigrant, as they surely have their own plan in mind which involves getting a certain kind of work, lacking training and skills to get better-paying work opportunities. So generally, their plan is obliged by those who hire them for these jobs. Should the situation be judged against the standard of living for citizens, or should it be judged against the standard of living which may have actually improved for the immigrants?

I dunno if what you were saying was leaning in that direction at all, or if it was to simply point out the difficulties experienced by these immigrants without necessarily suggesting that the situation should or could be changed? Should those anxious to cross the border be allowed more freedom to do so? Should there be some legislation to guarantee them better working situations and conditions, despite "illegal immigrant" status?

I guess the thought that comes to mind is, is this "exploitation" of these immigrant workers "wrong," paying them lower wages than might be the U.S. standard, but paying them higher wages than might be their own standard... if this is what the immigrants are looking for? Would mucking with that system inadvertently reduce their opportunities in the name of "helping them"?

This sorta makes me think of something someone told me once about the children who come up to folks who visit Mexico to ask for money. They said you really shouldn't reward them for asking, because it is the fact that they are so readily given money by tourists that encourages their parents to keep them from going to school in favor of begging for money. So do you decline to give a child money when they ask you, knowing this? This IS different from what you're talking about, but sorta similar in nature. Do we help them better by giving them the money, or by NOT giving them the money? Is the immigrants' system one that works better for them, or do we intervene somehow... do we make it more difficult for them to cross the border so they don't face the inevitable difficulties, or should crossing the border be made less difficult, so they don't face "coyote" risks, or.... ?

Re: Re: Re: no, thank YOU!

Well, I don't have all the answers. I did say that a guest worker program might be at least a step in the right direction. And raising wages. But, I hope you got a sense too that I think the problem goes much deeper than this.

Maybe I can write more later. Maybe someone else might like to comment, too?

Re: Re: Re: Re: no, thank YOU!

My belief is that the problem rest with the US policy toward South America in general. NAFTA is a good example. The US has historically supported corrupt totalitarian governments in South America. The CIA and the military have repeatedly sponsored coups against democratically elected governments, in order to install a government more sympathetic to US economic interests.

Hundreds of thousands have been slaughtered in places like El Salvador and Nicaragua, with the full knowledge and blessing of the US government. South America has sufferd under decades of economic and military repression, with the help of our tax dollars. So it does run a little deeper than exploiting cheap labor.

Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: no, thank YOU!

The political status "refugee" or "asylee" is supposed to be reflective of humanitarian need, but is often sadly simply a reflection of US foreign policy, and the case of civil wars in Central America is a perfect example. We didn't admit Guatemalans or Salvadorans as refugees because we were funding the war... even though there was widespread knowledge of torture and documented human rights abuses.

We treat Haitains and Cubans very very differently, also. It's all about political strategy and supposed US interest.

I'm seeing people get excited about that One campaign to fight poverty and AIDS around the world. During the Cold War, the US funded dictators and corrupt governments all over the world, in the name of fighting communism. Now that we are fighting terrorism, will we be more careful? Careful not only as in cicumspect, but perhaps involved and ethical?

Hve you been seeing this stuff about it being a flat world? Following on the note of conversations about immigrants and jobs and outsourcing, here's another op-ed piece...

************

One of America's most important entrepreneurs recently gave a remarkable speech at a summit meeting of our nation's governors. Bill Gates minced no words. "American high schools are obsolete," he told the governors. "By obsolete, I don't just mean that our high schools are broken, flawed and underfunded. ... By obsolete, I mean that our high schools - even when they are working exactly as designed - cannot teach our kids what they need to know today.

"Training the work force of tomorrow with the high schools of today is like trying to teach kids about today's computers on a 50-year-old mainframe. ... Our high schools were designed 50 years ago to meet the needs of another age. Until we design them to meet the needs of the 21st century, we will keep limiting - even ruining - the lives of millions of Americans every year."

Let me translate Mr. Gates's words: "If we don't fix American education, I will not be able to hire your kids." I consider that, well, kind of important. Alas, the media squeezed a few mentions of it between breaks in the Michael Jackson trial. But neither Tom DeLay nor Bill Frist called a late-night session of Congress - or even a daytime one - to discuss what Mr. Gates was saying. They were too busy pandering to those Americans who don't even believe in evolution.

See the full article here. If you don't have a password use the kaufmanfakedit combo; as far as I know, it still works.

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