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I'm totally incontinent when standing, it's not bad when sitting or sleeping but when I get up it just all comes out. Far and away the most disruptive side effect due to surgery. Much worse than I had ever imagined.
I'm sure most of those that have chosen the surgery route have experienced this. I was hoping that those that did would be willing to share tips /tricks that they've learned to deal with this.
Frank:
How far out from surgery are you? I was 54 and I have incontinence issues for a few weeks after surgery. The muscles need to relax after the catheter comes out.
You will find that most of us had a period of adjustment..........
Mike C (Canada)
It depends on how badly your "lower" sphincter was damaged. The prostate gland is the primary valve that controls continence. But, just above it and just below it are two sphincters. "Good surgery" will almost always remove the top sphincter along with the prostate, which is too bad. However, surgeons try to spare the lower sphincter with varying degrees of success. Without inspecting the condition of the lower sphincter after surgery, it's difficult to predict whether it will ever recover to the point where it will be reliable in controlling urine flow.
However, most surgery is "good". And, although it sounds insipid, the body is an incredible system and will continue to move towards its "perfect" state for years to come. I see measurable improvement in control and ED even 4 years after my initial surgery (as I have recently posted).
So, given that you are "dry" lying down and sitting ... and that maybe your surgery was relatively recent, the suggestion is that in a year or two (max) you will probably be quite comfortable with your control. Many men leak during strenuous activity and for some getting out of an awkward luncheon booth is strenuous enough ... so your activity level matters, too ... as do your expectations, which evolve. My doctor once commented, "You're dry if you think you're dry".
Internal surgery takes a year to heal and I don't believe the healing process stops there. Give it time, keep your spirits up, and do Kegel exercises.
Ah! Tips & Tricks. There aren't any. Get yourself some mens incontinence "briefs" if the volume is high. As it lessens, move to pads. I now cut my pads in half since the leaking is very low and I found the full pad uncomfortable. Women's pantie liners are too narrow for most men but try them if you think they will work ... availability is their greatest attribute if you ask me. I find the wider men's pads uncomfortable and that supportive briefs with a "cup" shape for your "junk" really help (with both comfort and leaking). Also, I don't use the adhesive strip on the back of the pads. The stationery pad chafes and pinches. The chafing can, I believe, promote more leaking (it's a sensation thing, I think) and the pinching can be debilitating. Allowing the pad to shift a little within a firm supportive brief seems to work best.
There are aids ... tubes, clamps and cuffs. The "Texas catheter" is great but awkward ... there's a bag and I didn't use it long enough to determine if extended use has drawbacks/advantages. Some people swear by the clamps but I didn't like them. getting the right fit is very important and the selection is not that broad ... at least not broad enough from me. The cuff is internal. That's a last ditch surgical effort, anything but certain, and nothing to be considered until after 4-5 years.
